Newlyweds

Allison Weber is my 20, almost 21 year old daughter. She married Jimmy Weber in July of 2007 when only 19 years old. Her mother and I initially discouraged the wedding, thinking that a couple more years of maturity would do both of them well.

I think you can reasonably say that they are still newlyweds since they have not yet made the 2 year anniversary. Yet, thinking back over the past two years, they don't fit the newlywed profile. It has been a tumultuous 2 years they have handled it with a maturity I could not have expected.

Let me start the story a year or to prior to their wedding. Jimmy's father, Joe, was a diabetic and generally in poor health. He spent quite a bit of the time Jimmy and Allison dated in and out of the hospital. Even when at home, his health was poor. During their courtship, Joe Weber died leaving his wife, Diane, and two sons, Jimmy and Joey. Joey is Jimmy's older brother and suffers from Muscular Dystrophy. He is effectively a quadriplegic and requires 24 hour care.

In July of 2007, Jimmy and Allison were married. Joey was part of the wedding party stood (seated) next to Jimmy. Jimmy and Allison moved into their first home together, an apartment a few blocks away from our house. What started out as a typical newlywed lifestyle soon changed.


On New Years Eve that same year, Diane became seriously ill and was admitted to Shawnee Mission Hospital via the emergency room. While the root cause of her illness was never determined, it caused her brain to swell and caused irreversible brain damage. She remained in a coma for the last week and a half of her life before dying in early January.


Diane's death left Jimmy and Allison with a decision. They could either find a state institution to care for Joey, or they could assume the care giver role. They choose the latter. Jimmy and Allison moved out of their first home together, and back into Diane's house so they could care for Joey. The greater sacrifice was not simply moving back, but rather assuming the care responsibilities. Those include ensuring state aid continued, transport for medical visits, school transportation, and management of in home nursing. It is a large responsibility for anyone, and not one that a newly married couple should have to take on. Yet, they took it on.


Over the past 18 months since the death of Diane, Jimmy and Allison have taken each challenge as they were presented. In addition, they were able to purchase and move into their first home and make it suitable for Joey's care. Their accomplishments were not easy, and my pride in both of them grows each week.


Jimmy and Allison: Hang in there. This is not the way it is supposed to be, it is just the way it is. You are handling it very well. It will get easier. Someday you will look back on this time with a sense of accomplishment in what you have done, how you did it, and that it was the right thing to do.