Friday, July 31, 2009

BBQ

After my wife, kids and grand kids, BBQ is the love of my life. I love to spend weekends smoking up a few slabs of ribs, a couple briskets or a pork shoulder. The family says that my ribs compare well to any BBQ can produce. I always look for new BBQ joints to open in locally so that I can try them. When traveling, I intentionally seek out local BBQ fare just so I can try it. I have even ate BBQ in Florida! I think that qualifies me as a legitimate BBQ aficionado, expert judge and final arbiter. I have 5 simple rules:

  1. Grilling is not BBQ'ing.
  2. You must taste the smoke.
  3. Great BBQ can be awesome.
  4. Bad BBQ can still be pretty good.
  5. BBQ experimentation is worth extra points
With my 5 rules in mind, I can classify the best BBQ offerings by region. First, you can disqualify everything west of the Rocky Mountains based on rule #1. Sandal-wearing grillers of veal, lamb and fish are not serious BBQ contenders. Texas BBQ is nearly exclusive to beef brisket and ribs, so throw them out also.

That leaves 3 serious BBQ regions. The midwest (commonly referred to as KC BBQ), Memphis, and North Carolina BBQ varieties.

KC BBQ - Noted for use of tomato-based sauces that range from sweet to spicy, and hickory smoked beef, pork, ham, ribs and turkey. Every town with a stoplight has at least one BBQ joint, and most claim to be "world famous". To try the best example of KC BBQ, you must go to Oklahoma ... Joe's that is. The quality of BBQ'ed meat is excellent. The owner gets extra points for creation of the Z-man, a sandwich with BBQ brisket and an onion ring with melted provolone cheese. It is a very unique and delicious BBQ sandwich.

Fiorella's Jack Stack also deserves high praise for tender, slow smoked meats and an upscale atmosphere. Avoid Bryant's and KC Masterpiece BBQ. They have been hyped by out of town media because of their national reputation, which is totally undeserved.

KC BBQ takes first position for their sauce and sliced meats.

Memphis BBQ - Renown for their ribs, pulled pork and slaw served on the bun. Memphis is home to world-class BBQ masters. Ribs can be either dry (generously covered with dry rub) or wet (slathered in sauce). Dry ribs seem to be unique to this region and are examples of some of the best slabs found anywhere.

Corky's is a chain that extends beyond Memphis and is a good representation of what Memphis BBQ is about. But the best Memphis BBQ is found in the old established joints, such as Central BBQ and Interstate BBQ. Charlie Vergos' Rendezvous is a downtown establishment that specializes in dry baby back slabs. Each slab is finished off under a broiler which gives it a unique flavor. A unique atmosphere sets Rendezvous apart from every other BBQ joint around. (Where else would the wait staff yell at you?)

Memphis takes first position for ribs. Sauce and pulled pork deserve mention also.

North Carolina BBQ - You either love it or hate it. Known for pit BBQ, the sauce is a vinegar based concoction that will surprise you and get your attention. Most BBQ is served with slaw and hush puppies. The best example of North Carolina BBQ is the pig roast. That can be very good BBQ, and very different from the fast food BBQ cooked in an oven. Other than the pig roast, North Carolina lacks the slow smoke flavor of other regions.

North Carolina deserves credit for being first at putting the slaw on the BBQ, and coupling it with servings of hush puppies.

So which is best? Memphis and KC BBQ score well on rules 2, 3 and 5. North Carolina BBQ sneaks in under rule 4. But before passing judgement, I'd like to try each several more times.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

On our 32nd Anniversary - I love you Terri Lee Bryant









On July 30th, 1977 Terri Lee Hansen married Frank Thomas Bryant, Jr. at Overland Park Lutheran Church. Thirty-two years later, Frank and Terri have 2 beautiful daughters and 3 lively grand children.
The pair to the left are strangers, thought to be wedding crashers.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Intervention

Those that know me, know that I am a fan of the TV show "Intervention". For those not familiar with the program, the premise of the show is they find an addict and pose as producers doing a documentary on addiction asking for permission to follow them around for a while. In actuality, the addict's family has contacted the show for help in cleaning up their loved one.

The first 30 minutes of the show documents the addict's current state, which consists of shooting up or guzzling, followed by slurred speech and staggering. The next 20-25 minutes documents the family working with a counsellor to plan and conduct the intervention. Almost always, the addict accepts the offer for help and is sent to a treatment center on a beach somewhere and they get better.

The end of the show is a brief look at the healed addict and their new life. It is always notable how much better they look after 90 days of sobriety and treatment. I think the show must be getting a lot of fans, because it is getting harder to surprise the addict with an intervention. Many know what is coming.

It may be time for the show to expand beyond addiction; maybe documenting any habit of irrational thought would be fair game. As an example, they could begin doing interventions for people who have irrational sports team beliefs. It would go like this. First, you find the "mark", ... let's say a guy who believes the sun rises and sets over a washed up, has been University of Kentucky men's basketball program. Someone who is living on long past accomplishments, and completely blind to recent performance of a mediocre (at best) team. We'll call him Kelly.
Cut to black screen with white text:




Kelly believes he is participating in a documentary aboout irrational thought.
He does not know that he will soon face an intervention.



The first half of the show would document his difficult life living in the past. For example, Kelly will unashamedly and freely state that the best basketball program in history is at the university of Kentucky, that Kentucky put the 'K' in BasKetball, and the home of college basketball is in Kentucky.







The world's most popular sport was invented by James Naismith in 1891.
Six years later, Naismith founded the University of Kansas basketball program and served its first coach.
Ironically, Naismith is the only coach in the program's history to have a losing record





Viewers will be shocked that someone can stoop to such sacrilege. This is the low point in the program. Then Kelly's family will be brought in to force a new bottom (the intervention).






Irrational belief in a sports team reputation can lead to ridicule, severe loss of respect and premature dementia.

Kelly's wife is up first and will say "Honey, you know that I love you, but your problem is affecting me in the following ways. First, you need to understand that I went to Memphis and applied for admission at Kansas. Both those teams have solid basketball programs that have accomplished far more in recent years than UK. The reality is that Kentucky has been in a league with Mississippi State of late. Oh, wait. Mississippi State made the NCAA tournament last year, so scratch that. If you don't control your irrational thoughts, I will be forced to stop watching all basketball with you, and will no longer root for Kentucky against any other team in any sport."









In March 2007, Kansas beats Kentucky 88-76 in the second round of the NCAA tournament. This is Kentucky's last appearance at "the big dance".
Irrational sports team beliefs can be passed on to the next generation.


Then Kelly's brother is next and says "Kelly, you know that I love you. I admit that I am your enabler and I want to apologize for my role in your problem. I know that we were born and raised in Kentucky, and have always been Kentucky fans. But I got to tell you bro, it ain't happening anymore. They have stunk up the last court with me as a fan. I just can't do it any longer, and am pleading with you to get your life back on track. If not for me, do it for your wife man! Think about your unborn kids. Do you want to pass this on to them?"
Kentucky was not selected to participate with the top 64 division 1 teams.
On March 25th, 2009 Kentucky loses to Notre Dame 77-67 in the 3rd round of the National Invitation Tournament.
The NIT is considered to be a consolation tournament for NCAA division 1 programs.

Then a kind and wise uncle would say "Kelly, you know that we love you man, but we can no longer sit by and watch what you are doing with your life. We have exposed you to Kansas basketball, introduced you to Allen Fieldhouse, and provided the example of what a modern college basketball program looks like. Kansas, the birthplace of the sport, have more national championships in the past 30 years than Kentucky does. And look at North Carolina. That Kansas-taught coach has more championships in the last 5 years than Kentucky does in the last 30. Wake up man! Pull it together, you have to snap out of it."




On December 9th, 1989, Kansas routed Kentucky 150-95
It is the largest margin of victory in Kansas history
But only the second largest margin of defeat in Kentucky history





In the end, Kelly will agree to go to treatment where for 90 days he will sit in a sports bar and watch every game from every NCAA tournament in modern history. A barmaid will say that "Kelly really put forth the effort. He watched the games and began to deal with his childish ideas on college basketball programs. I think he has now equipped himself to recognize situations that have caused him problems in the past, and just say no to Kentucky."



3 Months later ...



Kelly is now a Kansas basketball fan

Bubba


My little girl turns 21 today. Daughters hold special places in their father's heart. Allison was born on July 29th, 1988 without a butt and whining. She grew a butt however she still whines. Your mother and I love you Bubba. Hope you have a special and safe 21st birthday.
And remember these wise words:
Blackmail pictures last as long as a parent's love.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Living Weekend to Weekend

As I get older, I seem to be enjoying weekends and vacations more and more. This past weekend was an especially good one. I have had jobs that I was excited to go to every morning. The current job is not one of them. This may be the reason I live weekend to weekend. In addition to the weather being gorgeous in KC, here is how the last weekend went:

Friday evening:
  • A quiet dinner at home with my bride
  • A neighborhood walk
  • Trip to Sonic for refreshment
  • A drive down country roads we had never been on before
  • Watched the DVD movie, Taken

Saturday:

  • Slept until 8:00
  • Went to the River Market for tomatoes, onions and avocados
  • Breakfast at Cascones
  • Granddaughter's 5th birthday party
  • 5:00 church services
  • Dinner at Lone Star
  • Quiet evening at the house, watched TV

Sunday:

  • Golf at Dubb's Dread (played pretty well)
  • Lunch at Danny's
  • Watched second half of NASCAR race
  • Mowed the grass (Forrest and I have something in common, we both enjoy it)
  • Pork steaks on the grill
  • Watch the 3 grand kids for 2 hours

I am a fortunate man. I could relive that weekend over and over.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Aventures of Youth

In an earlier post I mentioned that when I was around 19 years old, I and 5 friends occupied 3 apartments in the same apartment building. It was a wild time when parties were rarely planned, but just happen ... very often. A few stories from that period come to mind. Please remember that this is not an endorsement of the events described below.

The first story is one of opportunism. Several of us worked for a local property management company. That company provided maintenance and grounds keeping services for several condominium homes associations. One dry, hot summer we ran out of legitimate work to do for the homes association. The grass had quit growing, as it will in typical Kansas City summers, and the company owner began thinking of other tasks we could do to create billing. His solution was dog poo. He had several of us police the common areas picking up dog poo.

After a few hours of this, we had several good sized bags of dog poo. If you go through the degradation of picking up dog poo for a living, you start thinking of ways to make the situation work for you. Practical jokes are always good use of one's time. The question of the day became, "What should we do with bags of dog poo?" One of the apartment buddies had somehow taken possession of a used toilet which he proudly displayed by the front door of his apartment. It didn't take us rocket scientists long to find the connection between poo and toilets.

Fortunately for other residents in the building, these apartments had exterior entry doors instead of common hallway access. So they were not directly exposed to the sight of a toilet completely full and overflowing with poo. Our buddy was subjected to this sight and smell. The toilet with contents were soon disposed of.

The second story recounts the events one unseasonably warm New Year's Eve. Since the weather was a good excuse the be outdoors, that's where the party moved. Adult beverages were flowing freely as the new year approached. At midnight the celebration began. One of the apartment buddies owned an old clunker that no longer ran. He decided that since he was having it towed away the next week, we might as well use it in the festivities.

Imagine seeing a car in the apartment building parking lot, with 5-10 guys standing on top, jumping up and down. Also imagine an additional 10-20 people gather around the vehicle hitting with hammers, throwing objects and kick it. That is exactly how the other tenants of the apartment were seeing as they greeted the new year. Not knowing what was happening, but knowing well what their 6 neighbors were like, they called the police who responded within a couple minutes.

If there were 30 people participating in the car bash, 29 saw the police coming and returned to the relative shelter of the apartments when the patrol car rolled up. My roommate, very inebriated roommate, was the lone car stomper. All that participated that evening will remember him as he realized he was all alone, stopped jumping and turned to the patrol car. After a brief hesitation, he pointed and yelled "Hey, its the cops!" The humor in this scene was that he was no more than 20 feet away from the cops as he yelled it at them and no one else. Even the patrolmen could be seen snickering at the sight. You had to be there to appreciate it.

My final story also involves my ex-roommate. His name was Dave, and we were good friends. He stood at my wedding, and I at his. Since then we have lost touch but not the memories of younger days. On this particular weekend evening, Dave was out with another apartment buddy. Dave was driving in the vicinity of our apartment.

As they passed a police vehicle on a traffic stop, the apartment buddy hangs out of Dave's vehicle and shouts, if memory serves well, "Hey you Pig!" I am sure the "you Pig!" is accurate, but not so sure of the "Hey". Regardless, the traffic officer made a quick decision that catching the disrespecting shouter was more important than the traffic offense, at started pursuing my roommate.

While this is going on, I am at the apartment and sound asleep. My roommate and the apartment buddy beat the police to the apartment and run into the apartment buddy's unit. I am then awakened by a telephone call. "Don't answer the door" is the message. "Why?" "Never mind, just don't answer the door". So instead, I crawl out of bed and across the floor to the window. I peer from behind the curtains just as a billy club is used to knock loudly on the front door. The scene below was hard to believe.

It seems that the local police department was building a SWAT team for use anyplace within the county when an appropriate situation might arise. They saw this "manhunt" as good practice for the newly formed team. As I looked down from my third floor apartment, the SWAT team was storming the building. They completely surrounded the building to prevent escape of the name-calling scoundrel.

The police had come to my apartment after checking for home address off my roommate's license plate. I do not know if the SWAT unit would have battered down the door because the culprits tried to escape from a rear bedroom window in the other apartment. The SWAT team spotted the attempt and turned their focus to that apartment and away from mine. The siege ended a few minutes later when the police decided not to obtain a warrant to enter the premise. I suspect they were just practicing anyway.

Scenes like these recurred very often. There are other stories of couches flying off of balconies, people flying off balconies (only to hook their arm over the rail and not plunge to certain injury) rude treatment of neighbors, and other despicable acts that will not be retold. I previously mentioned that the apartment complex management was plotting to remove us. That attempt became a success when our lease expired. We found that our rent checks were no longer good. The first to leave was Dave and me. Dave moved home with his parents, I moved downstairs with other apartment buddies. Our 3 apartments in the same building were reduced to 2, and later to 1 and none.

Most of us moved on to marriage and families and respectability. A couple hung on to the party life. I lost touch with all the guys, but occasionally bump into one by accident. When we have that chance meeting, we always say that it's time to get everyone together again and reminisce. But we won't. While the memories were great, the environment was not. I still feel sorry for the other tenants in our apartment building. We deserved much worse than eviction.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Fishing Trip

A co-worker was just showing me pictures from his fishing trip yesterday. He had a different kind of luck than I had on what I refer to as my "last fishing trip ever". My parents were living on the Lake of the Ozarks. One weekend, Terri and I met my brother and sister-in-law Lloyd and Cindy Wilson at my parents house for some rest and relaxation.

My parents home had a nice boat dock that was also a good fishing platform. Sunday afternoon, Lloyd and I were relaxing on the boat dock. While our plans were not to fish, we both picked up a pole and threw in a line just to pass the time. Fishing was not very good, and I became bored on the dock and started to work my way around the shoreline.

A discussion caught my attention, and I looked back towards the boat dock. A uniformed individual was stepping out of his boat and onto the dock. Ah, shucks. He must be a game warden. They sometimes dock their boat at the entrance of a cove and use binoculars to spot fishermen they want to license check. Since this was not planned as a fishing trip, neither Lloyd or I had a license. Lloyd was busted, but I still had a chance. Away I went, up the hill to the street.

Adrenaline was pumping, and the 8 foot rock wall was only a minor obstacle to my escape. About the time I disappeared over the wall, the game warden asks Lloyd if he knew that other guy as he points over his shoulder. Lloyd sees that my escape is complete, and replies "What guy?". The game warden is not new to the job, and immediately knows that Lloyd knows "what guy", so the pursuit has begun.

I worked my way up to street level and crossing to the front of my parents house, through the front door and into safety. As I peer out a window facing back to the lake, I see the warden is not easily deterred. He has moved from the dock to the shoreline, and is knocking on the door of the neighbor's house. Whether the neighbors were aware of the situation I do not know, but they did not give me up to the warden and he eventually lost interest and left.

While I escaped, Lloyd did not. He paid a fine of $75, but not as high as would have been assessed if we had actually caught fish. The stringers and live basket were all empty, so in a way, poor fishing luck was good luck that day.

That was my last fishing experience, and will likely stay that way. I have enjoyed fishing as a sport, although it quickly bores me. Since I eat very few fish species, its just not worth the cost of a license, or potential fine. I'm done.

Friday, July 24, 2009

We the People

Do I hear a "throw the bums out" tone?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeYscnFpEyA

This is the mood that led to the Reagan Revolution and Newt's Contract with America. Conservatism will return to power once current the weak-kneed representatives find their voice or another career.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Life Events

The following is a lame attempt at free association on significant life events.
  • My birth - I vaguely remember the doctor mentioning what a fine specimen I was, maybe the best example he had ever seen. :-)
  • First memory - A toy car. I was sitting in a high chair and it was probably my birthday. I was given a black car that had a red light on top. Second memory was a beach. It was cloudy,I was cold, and we were picking up sea shells.
  • First day of school - Happy. I thought it was going to be a time of cookies, milk, naps, recess and games. Turns out I was born 50 years too soon for that to be true.
  • Getting a drivers license - Bummer. I could only drive the parents station wagon.
  • First job - How will I ever be able to spend all that money? I made $1.60 an hour busing tables.
  • First car - 1972 Vega. Was recently voted as one of the 10 worst cars ever made. Since it was my first, I did not know any better.
  • First cool car - 1969 red GTO convertible. Fast and cool.
  • First date - Embarrassment. I asked Leslie Shanks, a hostess at Red Lobster, for a date. To my surprise, she accepted. We double dated with mutual friends at a pizza place with a live band. The band was so loud there was no conversation the entire evening. I dropped her off and asked if she wanted to go out again. Without hesitating, she sadly shook her head and responded, "No".
  • Moving out of the house - Freedom! I later found that freedom doesn't mean I make the rules, just that the rule maker had changed.
  • Marriage - Blur. I remember a white tuxedo and a lot of sweat. Turned out better that I could have hoped.
  • Birth of first child- Hairball or monkey? It looked like the birth of a massive amount of hair, could it be attached to a baby?
  • Birth of second child- The girl had no butt and she immediately started whining. She got a butt, but still hasn't stopped whining.
  • First grandchild - Fun. All the good stuff of parenthood, and then they go home.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Rumor and Reality

As I mentioned earlier this week, on September 21 I will transition from Sprint to Ericsson. This transition was not a shock, in fact it could have been the worst kept secret at Sprint for the last year.The trade press was regularly commenting on the rumor. Sprint vendors were offering their knowledge of the matter very freely. This abundance of unofficial information only served to increase the uncertainty with the employees.

Sprint employees have had a rough ride since 2001. The cycle of lay off rumors, lay off announcement, lay off effective date, coming to terms with a lay off, and functioning with a smaller group of resources repeated each year, including 2009. The outsourcing rumors only served to increase fear and concern within the employee base.

On July 9th Sprint and Ericsson formally announced the plan to "rebadge" 6,000 Sprint employees to Ericsson. Since then, a steady stream of information has come from both companies. It is now a good time to compare the rumor to the reality. Employee fear and concern was largely due to the unknowns. For each unknown, we would fill in the blank based on our own understanding. These fears were largely unfounded.


  • Rumor: For Sprint to save money by handing day to day operations, Ericsson would need to lay off people, cut salaries and benefits to become profitable.
  • Reality: No lay offs are planned.
  • Reality: Salary for each employee remains unchanged.
  • Reality: Benefits package is at least as good as Sprint's was, and in some cases better.
  • Rumor: Laid off employees would not receive a severance package.
  • Reality: Any former Sprint employee laid off during the first 1 year of the agreement would receive the generous package that Sprint provides. After the 1 year anniversary, the Ericsson package of 1 week per year of service will apply.
  • Rumor: Ericsson does not provide 401k or retirement plans.
  • Reality: Ericsson provides a 401k plan with same matching benefit (0%).
  • Rumor: The Ericsson outsourcing business model was to do the same with fewer people.
  • Reality: The Ericsson outsourcing business model is leverage their investment in work flow systems and gain efficiencies Sprint could not. With that efficiency, they plan to bring on additional network services clients.
  • Rumor: Ericsson plans to take the Sprint work overseas.
  • Reality: Ericsson has create a new subsidiary in the United States for services business and based it in Kansas City.

And there are many more examples. The point is that all rumors I heard were false, other that the actual outsourcing. We tell ourselves stories in uncertain times. Those stories are based on what we think is true, however we have no way to tell if it is actually true. Rarely does the reality match the stories we tell ourselves.

It's like my grandmother always said, for every 100 things we worry about, 99 will never happen. She would have liked Bobby McFerrin. "Don't worry, be happy".

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

The Boys

I am sure that most of my acquaintances are not aware that I have 2 boys. Nothing scandalous here. In 1984, Terri and I became pregnant. A you can imagine, we were excited to add to our family. Lyndy was turning 4 years old, so the timing was perfect.

Around the third month of the pregnancy, it became apparent that either Terri was going to bear an elephant, or she was sacrificing her girlish figure for the next bon-bon fix. She was getting huge. A trip to the doctor followed by a sonogram confirmed that neither was true. Terri was pregnant with twins. That caused a shock wave across the Bryant household. We were living in a small two bedroom home. We could have shoe horned one additional child into the space, but two was really not possible.

We immediately began to plan an expansion. We thought of building a large bedroom over the garage, but dropped that plan due to high cost and low effectiveness. After a few contractors provided their recommendations, we decided to build out the back of the house with a large great room, second bathroom and third bedroom. Since I am relatively handy, we only wanted the addition roughed in. I would finish the interior and paint the exterior.

The work began. Terri continued to grow. A church friend was our contractor and he neared completion of his part of the work about the time we learned the pregnancy was not progressing normally. A trip to a specialist found that Terri was taking on inordinate amounts of amniotic fluid. In large part, this was the reason for her size. Terri was admitted to the hospital and put on total bed rest.

She remained in the hospital for several weeks. Periodically, the doctors would drain amniotic fluid from her belly. The reason was that with so much fluid, the twins could move about rather freely, and the risk of tangled umbilical cords leading to death was high. Back then, premature infants typically did not survive unless they had reached 29 weeks. At 27 weeks we learned that instead of two heartbeats, there was only one. We were determined to get the surviving twin to the 29th week and a premature birth.

About a week later, there were no heartbeats. Terri was induced to deliver our stillborn children. This was a very difficult time for both of us, but especially for Terri. Amid her own labor pains, she heard the cries of other mothers and their newly born infants, knowing that hers were already dead. The mental anguish and her physical pain stretched over 24 hours until my sons were born.

The nursing staff asked if we wanted to see them before they were respectfully disposed of. We did, so each was brought in, wrapped in a blanket for us to see and hold briefly. That is the only time in my adult life that I had freely cried. It is also the time that I realized why I am pro-life. I remember holding my son who looked as if he were sleeping. I realized that infants that looked just as he did were routinely slaughtered every day for the sake of convenience. The horror of abortion became very real and unimaginable. It was also the time in my life where I began to appreciate the work of the March of Dimes. Today, and through their support, premature infants at 27 week gestation routinely survive.

The rest of our story is that we finished the addition and enjoyed it for years to come. We waited 4 more years, until Allison was born, before we were able fill the 3rd bedroom. I still think of the boys occasionally.

There will be a day when I will see them again.

Monday, July 20, 2009

How I Got This Job

On August 13th I will hit my 13 year anniversary with Sprint. The changes over this period are gargantuan. When I started working for the local phone division of Sprint in 1996, they were a monopoly in the markets they served. Expense budgets were flush with cash, and little scrutiny was placed on travel or business entertainment. Layoffs were virtually unheard of. The story of how I was hired on would be quite different in today's economy.

I worked for the local cable company from 1981 until my move to Sprint in 1996. In May of 1996, Jim, the former general manager of the local cable company called me out of the blue and asked if I would be interested in a job at Sprint. I was so ready for a change. The Sprint local phone company was launching a project to construct cable TV networks in their markets. This new network would provide voice, video and data to their customers. Sprint needed people with cable TV network experience. Jim put me in touch with Russell, and director in the technology laboratory at Sprint.

Russell asked me to come by for an interview, which I did within a few days. He grilled me as much as he was capable on cable TV technology, and I must have passed the test. At the end of the interview, Russell said he would like to offer me a job, but had to go through his HR contact before an offer could be made. He gave me his business card and told me to call him if I was not contacted by HR within 2 weeks.

I was exuberant. I returned to my current job and gave them a sloppy 2 weeks notice. Sloppy in that I said it could be 2 or 3 weeks, but wanted them to know. I had a great relationship with my leadership at the cable company, and they were willing to let me stay on until the offer from Sprint was made.

Two weeks came and went. No contact from Sprint. I called Russell, and he explained there was some debate on where I would best fit in the organization. He asked if I could interview again with a different person. Later that day, I interviewed with James. James was a technologist that was very opinionated on how cable TV networks should be built and operated. That view must have differed with mine, because I was given no hope that a job offer would be extended by James.

Anther 2 weeks passed without contact from Sprint. I called Russell and Jim asking about the progress. Both said that they were still working on it. I was asked to come in again and interview with the lab manager. I did, but did not get the feeling that he was that interested in bringing me on.

Two or three more weeks passed. My current employer was starting to ask questions. Was the 2 week notice still in effect after 7 weeks? I continued to call Russell. He asked me if I would talk to one of his peers over the phone on Friday evening. I was beginning to wear out, but agreed. The phone conversation was in fact a very informal interview with Dave and lasted a mere 15 minutes. Dave was the Director of Network Operations in Sprint. He sounded interested, but I was beginning to question whether a legitimate offer would be made. If 3 face-to-face interviews did not bring in an offer, how could a 15 minute phone conversation?

But it did. Within a couple days, an offer was extended to come work for Dave. I had hoped for a nice raise, but the offer was pretty comparable to what I was making with overtime at the cable company. I accepted the offer and 9 weeks after my interview with Russell, I worked my last day in cable TV and moved over to Sprint.

The first few weeks were overwhelming. Here I was, a high school educated cable TV technician knuckledragger, thrown into the management world and surrounded by very smart people, even some with PhD degrees. What I quickly found was that while smart, they were not smart in the areas I was. They were looking for someone who could answer the questions that seemed so simple to me. I began to add value, and with that became more and more comfortable with the new job.

Then a bombshell was dropped. The project I was hired to support was cancelled. Sprint would not be deploying cable TV networks. Panic set in. THAT'S ALL I KNOW! WHAT WILL I DO NOW? The building I worked in was full of Vice-Presidents. I spent the new few weeks avoiding them in the hallways. I did not want them to see that the guy they brought in to help with cable TV network operation was still drawing a paycheck. As I look back on that time, I now realize I was in no danger of lay off. Money grows on trees when you are a monopoly, and executives would build empires with that money. Headcount was the way you measure an empire.

Yet, I was rather skittish. I cornered Dave, my director, and asked him what I should do now. He was not concerned, but gave me good advice. He said to carve a niche for myself. With help from the manager I reported to, I began to get involve with any and all "emerging technologies" . The thought was that nobody was an expert in the brand new stuff so I would not be at a disadvantage. It worked. I expanded my skill set from cable TV to fiber to the curb, and DSL technologies. My niche was carved, and that led to other opportunities as time passed which eventually led to wireless services.

I was fortunate to have gotten the opportunity with Sprint. It has been good for me and my family. The "sideways" move was only temporary. In fact, I now realize that I had moved from a career path that was reaching it's top end, to a career path where I had lots of headroom. I owe a debt of gratitude to 3 men for this opportunity.

First and foremost, to Jim. My general manager at the cable company. He gave me my first real job. I was loyal to him, and he returned that loyalty by thinking me when a position opened up at Sprint. I have learned many lessons from Jim, but the best one is that whatever happens, keep it real. It is easy to get caught up in the current program or initiative, but honest, common sense, realistic counsel will lead you or your boss to the best decisions.

Secondly, Russell. I am sure that after my first interview, he began to catch signs of the cable TV project demise. Yet, he remained true to his word to find me a position. I am convinced this is the reason why it took 9 weeks and 3 more interviews to land that position.

And finally, to Dave. Dave took a chance in hiring me. I do not know what he saw (or heard) from me that convinced him to offer a position. Maybe he just lost a bet. Regardless, that 15 minute phone conversation on a Friday evening changed my life. Since then I was able to watch Dave move up the corporate ladder. He is no longer at Sprint. Dave is now an officer in one of the world's largest telecommunications companies. During his time at Sprint I learned many lessons on leadership. His example seemed effortless, quickly blending logic, common sense, accountability and humor into any conversation.

Dave has a fantastic dry humor. Here are a few examples that come to mind:

  • Immediately after the cancellation of the cable TV project and my "carve a niche" conversation with him, he would stop in to my bosses' cube (right new to mine), and whisper just loud enough for me to hear "Are we still paying him?" "Does he still work here?"
  • After my stroke, and while in the hospital he left me a voice mail saying "You don't get extra points for almost dying on the job."
  • If anyone answered a phone call, or tried to leave during his staff meetings, he would ask "Is that Kathy on the phone" or "Do you have an appointment with Kathy?" Kathy was his boss.
  • If he caught you leaving a few minutes early, he would ask "Will you be returning after the Chemo treatment?"

Points were made with humor. We had a lot of laughs over the years from Dave wit. Not only was Dave my boss in several different positions, he and his family became friends of my family. My daughter Lyndy coached Dave's daughter's soccer team once his skills were exhausted. That milestone was reached when the girls reached the 1st grade.

Dave was very uncomfortable with non-competitive youth sports. I remember a quote from him when describing his daughter's soccer league. He said "We don't keep score in the games, or season won-loss records. But I do. We won 7-0 last Saturday to bring us 8-1 for the season." That statement says a lot about Dave. He was either in "it" full speed to win, or "it" was deselected. "It" could be a project at work, or a personal activity.


My time at Sprint is winding down. On September 21st, I along with 6,000 fellow employees will be rebadged to Ericsson. With that will be new opportunities and new leadership. I need to carve a niche for 13 more years before I retire.

Friday, July 17, 2009

MJ

Up until now I have resisted blogging on any subject related to Micheal Jackson. I figured that he's dead, so let it go. My mistake was in responding to a poll on facebook. The poll question asked if Micheal Jackson's birthday should become a national holiday. The first 3 votes were "No", a national holiday was not warranted. I should have moved on, but I didn't.

I find the idea so absurd that my natural tendency became overwhelming and I turned to sarcasm. I responded that he "would be the first pedophile celebrated with his own day". (Well at least known pedophile as there may be others.)

The first response was a snotty "It was never proven he was a pedophile. Do not judge lest you be judged." Okay, that was pretty tame and maybe even called for. But I took the bait, mistake #2. I left the following comment:

He wasn't charged with pedophilia, he was charged with child molestation. As I remember, he paid off a couple of the children's families to have the charges dropped. Nothing was proven, but he was never found not guilty. He did however, admit to sleeping with young boys. No judging here. I am just taking the sicko at his word. You can defend him if you desire. It is a sick society that celebrates such a freak.

Okay, I shouldn't have done it. But remember that I am an old guy, one of the ones that ruined facebook for younger people. You would have thought that I'd left a floating snickers bar in the punch bowl. My facebook friend then responded with a litany of excuses for MJ's behavior and that we should all accept it. A summary of that response was:
  • MJ did not have a normal childhood, or even a childhood so he was in regression
  • The regressive MJ chose to have a life as a child, so when he slept with young boys it was just a sleep over, completely innocent and not molestation
  • Nobody has charged that he molested him since his death
  • MJ was kind and did a lot for charities
  • Everyone who knew MJ said nice things about him
I am not convinced. I still say that he is likely a pedophile and most certainly a self-mutilator. I do not believe his life should be celebrated in any way. Despicable people can be talented, and are capable of saying or doing good things, but they are still despicable.

I am clumsy with the facebook etiquette and realize I shouldn't have used it to inflame others with my comment. That's what blogs are for. So let me know what you think. Am I right or wrong? I promise to behave.

http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=105925959649&h=bsTAN&u=eIZFb&ref=nf

More Simple Thoughts

Just a few random bursts of semi-conscious thoughts, and some bathroom observations:

  • The people who once claimed that the earth’s population would become too large to feed are now the tree-hugger, global warming crowd. They were wrong then and now. Everyone will know this once real debate is allowed.
  • I hate it when the person in the next stall exits the restroom without washing their hands.
  • Assuming the bill is read, (Knee)Cap and T(ax)rade will not make it through the Senate.
  • Judge Sotomayor will be confirmed. Her vote will replace that of another liberal, so it is a wash. The conservative hope is that she becomes to Obama what Justice Souter's was to George H. Bush – a disappointment.
  • The worst thing about vacations is that you need another the day after you finish one.
  • Most liberals are good people and live their lives as conservatives. My only problem with them is they are the ones who elect the liberals in Washington.
  • The birthplace of basketball is Kansas!
  • Some think that Barrack Obama, after completing his capture of the US economy, will attempt to revoke the 2 term limit for the office of President. I predict that he will fail that, and fail winning a second term.
  • Public bathrooms stay much cleaner now that most have the little cameras installed over the urinals and behind the toilets.
  • President Obama continues to make the George W. Bush administration look good.
  • Private insurance companies will not be able to compete with a government plan that can deficit spend and print its own money.
  • Senator Al Franken is the most accomplished clown in the Senate. Want some proof? Take a look at the youTube video of Senator Boxer telling Harry Alford to get to the back of the bus with the rest of the black folk:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FE_jGD5nZ6U&feature=player_embedded

Absolutely priceless!

Thursday, July 16, 2009

How I Met My Wife

July 30th marks the 32nd anniversary of my marriage to Terri Lee Hansen. I think it is also a good opportunity to blog about how we met, and our courtship.

I first met Terri around 1973 or 1974. I was a cook at Red Lobster and she was a waitress at JB Big Boys in Shawnee. Since I normally worked the late shift, I would not get off work until midnight or after. I and my buddies would sometimes go to a local restaurant for coffee and to unwind. JB’s was a frequent stop for us since it was open 24 hours. I don’t think Terri remembers me. I am sure that I blended in to the hundreds of customers she waited on over the years. Still, I am surprised she can not remember the group of guys who showed up often that reeked of shrimp and bad oysters.

I distinctly remember Terri. Her father worked for International Harvester, and was recently transferred to KC from Memphis. Terri had no choice but move, so reluctantly followed leaving her older sister in Memphis. Terri had a distinct southern drawl. We nicknamed her Arkansas Sexy. She had shoulder length black hair with a little bit of curl, and would keep her hair bundled in the back under a hair net. I immediately found her attractive, but not because of the hair net. She put up with a lot from my crew, but I always remember her as cheerful and patient. She would let us have our good natured ribbing, send a little of it back our way, and then take our order.

Our relationship never went beyond that of a waitress and customer during that time. In 1975, our paths crossed again through a mutual friend. I and 5 buddies occupied 3 apartments in the same building. We were all around 19 or 20 years old, so weekends at the apartment were, shall we say, active. Apartment management did not like any of us and were busy plotting to kick us out. More on that in a future blog. During one weekend party, Terri and her friends showed up. At the time, she was dating a friend of mine. It was not serious, and as I later found, Terri was planning to move back to Memphis and resume a relationship with a former boyfriend. The relationship with my friend was not working. My friend was not great at impressing the ladies. While he was very outgoing, he tended to turn them off when he asked for gas money when on a date. I saw my opportunity and swooped in.

We started talking a lot. She began showing up at my apartment since it was the happenin’ place every evening for all of our friends. While I do not believe I asked her if she wanted to start dating, we started going out alone. She informed me that her heart was in Memphis, and that she would soon return there. I pursued anyway. Soon we were an item. Hardly a day passed when we did not get together. After several months, I confided in our mutual friend as to the nature of Terri and my relationship. I was pleased to learn that Terri was also confiding in that person, and her feelings had changed. That gave me the courage to tell her that I loved her the next evening. She laughed. I think she might have replied with the same, but all I remember is the laugh. It was the first time I had told a woman that I loved her, and she laughed!

The courtship continued, but not for long. It would soon turn into an engagement. I started to jewelry shop and settled on a jeweler in downtown Kansas City. He convinced me that when shopping for diamonds, quality is more important than size. Terri has come to deal with that many times over the years. I bought a $400 engagement/wedding ring set on payments. I asked Terri if she would like to dine at a local restaurant named Sam Wilson’s. It was an establishment slightly more elegant than Stuckey’s. It was February 12th, 1977, two days before Valentine’s day, so a Valentine’s dinner was all that she suspected. I asked her to marry me before the meal was served. A punch line would be that she laughed, but that is not how I remember it. I think she said, "Alright". Whatever the words were, she accepted my proposal of marriage. I was 20 and she was 18 years old.

The parents were told with differing reactions. Her parents did not believe it, mine were eager to get the first kid married off. We married 5 months later (before the ring was paid off) and the rest is history. As we approach the start of our 33rd year a few things leap to my mind.
Terri is a good woman. She has improved me, turning a lump of coal into a polished lump of coal. I have not regretted a single year of our marriage. Each year has been better than the one before. If I had it all to do again, I‘d do it all again.

Terri, I love you (don’t laugh). I am grateful that you decided to stay in Kansas City.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Global Warming, an article of faith

I have often thought for a while that many of the modern liberal beliefs were more akin to a religion than to logical thought. Take for instance the current request by liberals of Judge Sotomayor to say she supports Roe v. Wade. It's not enough to simply be a liberal, you must also pledge your loyalty to abortion, the sacrament of the liberal's religion.

The global warming myth is another of their religious views. The earth is heating up and we will soon reap the consequences is another article of faith. Science tends not to support man made global warming, so that science is ignored and stifled. Do you know that global temperatures have decreased over the last 11 years? The recent cooling is more consistent with the cyclical nature of the sun's activity than CO2. Do you know there is no evidence that ocean levels are rising? Do you think this would be good information to know, communicate, and debate?

There was little reporting from last last week's G-8 meeting in Italy, that the 8 apostles, (a.k.a. the G-8 leaders), pledged not to allow the Earth's temperature to rise more than 3.6 degrees F. What absurdity. As if they can control the climate. Do you think they have a god-like view of themselves?

I recently found a great article from the San Francisco Chronicle that does a better job at describing this bizarre liberal behavior than I can. I have posted he link below. Enjoy!

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/07/12/IN5618I1DR.DTL

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

A Bad Day

There are devastating days and then there are just bad days. Devastating days are the ones when a loved one dies, or you lose a job. Bad days are simply those when a series of minor events goes wrong. In my life, I have been fortunate not to have many devastating days. I do have a classic bad day example to share.

It was late October, 1996. I and 2 other co-workers were on a business trip to Orlando. It was my first trip for Sprint. The plan was to fly down on a Wednesday morning, attend vendor meetings on Wednesday afternoon and Thursday morning, and then fly back to Kansas City on Thursday afternoon. The trip had an ominous start as the plane set down in Nashville with mechanical problems. The airline was a small one that did not have another plane in Nashville, so the airline let us know that we were on our own. We booked a new flight on another airline and arrived in Orlando just as the Thursday meeting concluded. We'll, there are worse places to go for no reason, so you say an evening in Orlando isn't so bad.

We had our Thursday morning meeting with the vendor and returned to the airport to catch our flight back to KC. We were supposed to leave Orlando at 5:00 PM, but found that the flight was delayed by 1 hour. During the delay, I called home. Terri informed me that KC was in the middle of an unexpected snow storm, so that must be the reason for the delay. What a surprise. The forecast when we left KC was for a temperature in the mid-40's with a slim chance for light rain.

At around 6:00 PM, we departed Orlando with an expected arrival in KC of around 9:00. The flight was smooth and uneventful. When we were about 45 minutes outside of KC, the pilot came on the intercom and told us that the KC airport had just closed due to weather conditions. He said that we had enough fuel to circle for an hour or so waiting for it to reopen, but would then need to head for another airport. So we circled for an hour. The airport remained closed. so we then diverted to Omaha. After a hard landing due to high cross-winds, we gassed up and immediately took off for the recently reopened KC airport.

After getting fuel, the pilot asked that we pull our belts tight because "it's going to be a rough ride". And it was. Strong cross-winds buffeted the plane again. Air sick bags became high demand items, but we made it to KC safely at 2:30 AM. Now the bad day starts.

After collecting my luggage, I stood at the bus station waiting for a ride to the satellite parking area. Accompanying me on the trip was my boss. Since it was after midnight, I asked if this was considered a travel day, meaning, I would not need to show up at the office the next morning. "Nice try" he said. "Be there by 9:00". Yoohoo! An extra hour of sleep.

I had not brought a coat since it was in the 80's in Orlando and the forecast was expected to be relatively mild in KC on Thursday evening. Wrong. The temperature was in the 20's and the snow was 10 inches deep. Sweeping the snow off your vehicle in those conditions wearing a short sleeve shirt was the first bad thing in the next 24 hours.

After thawing my truck out, I started the 45 minute drive home. I might make it by 3:30 or 4:00 AM. I remember watching the blue flashes across the entire city on my drive. You see, in late October, KC trees still have their leaves. When you add 10 inches of wet snow, the tree limbs fall and take down power lines. The blue flashes were electrical transformers blowing all over the city.

I arrive home after a long day. No power. Luckily I had a gas hot water heater, so was able to get a warm shower before retiring. I was up and out of bed by 8:00 and out the door by 8:30. The storm had caused massive power outages across the city, so traffic was a mess. Progress to work was stop and go.

My truck began to overheat. Soon, I decided to pull into a local car repair shop and drop the truck off for repair. I called Terri, who picked me up in our mini-van and delivered me to work. I made it by 10:00 and sought out my boss to make excuses. He wasn't in. Instead I listen to a voicemail from him stating that due to the late arrival the night before, he would be in after lunch.

I go about my normal workday and my boss never shows. Bosses, harrumph! I finish out the day and catch a ride home. Upon arriving, I notice that the driveway has been cleared. It turns out that Lyndy cleared it. That is the good news. The bad news is that she used her car's headlights to light up her work, and now the battery in car was dead. No problem. I gladly trade giving her a jump start for not having to clear the driveway.

I pull our mini-van out and hooked up the jumper cables. She turns the key and bam! The battery on the mini-van explodes. Cables were hooked up correctly, but the 4 year old battery was starting to degrade. The added load pushed it over the edge.

I remember this moment very clearly. I am tired, standing in the cold and dark. I started the day with 3 operational vehicles. Now all were broke. I had no power or warmth in my house. I was hungry, but had no food, or power to cook with. This was the low point in the day. Things then started to turn positive as a neighbor loaned me their car, which I used to go purchase a new battery. Once the new battery was installed, I was able to jump start Lyndy's car, so 2 of 3 vehicles I could repair were now operational.

Then the family and I then went in search of dinner along with the rest of the community. Dinner that night was at Boston Market. Not because we like Boston Market, but rather they were the only restaurant we found that had food left. After a long wait we dined on what was left for sale, notr necessarily what we wanted.

I will always remember that day as one that Murphy's Law prevailed. Anything that could go wrong, did.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Mid-life Crisis

I had a mid-life crisis. It was not a woman or a motorcycle, however I was a vehicle. By any one's standard, it was not a great vehicle. Gas mileage was poor, it has a poor safety rating, it was cold in the winter and hot in the summer, you would never take it on a long trip because it would beat you to death, you could to leave anything of value in it unattended because it was so easy to break in, and it barely would maintain highway speed. When the weather man is wrong, I would end up baling water out of it after an unexpected thunderstorm.

I no longer have it after trading it in on a Chevrolet Tahoe, the most luxurious, comfortable, and practical vehicle I have ever owned. Yet, I still miss the mid-life crises vehicle even now, 6 years after the trade in.

It makes no sense. My yellow Jeep Wrangler the most impractical vehicle I have ever owned. It was also by far the most fun vehicle I have ever owned. Terri and I would spent warm summer nights cruising the back roads of Kansas in it. It is the only vehicle I have ever owned that would that would entice us to just go out on a drive.
You may have seen bumper stickers on Jeeps that say "It's a Jeep thing, you wouldn't understand". Very true. Jeep owners are loyal. A Jeep Wrangler can best be described as a motorcycle on 4 wheels. You feel the road like a motorcycle and have the 2 wheel open air driving experience, yet retain some of the safety features of a car. It is a Jeep thing. I want another.
My next Jeep will be a pure recreation vehicle. I do not want to rely on it for basic transportation. It may be a used, beat up, high mileage model. I just want to experience back road pleasure driving one more time.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

I Like to Listen

Besides TV, music has also been a significant part of my life. I remember the first time that I became a true music fan. I was listening to my mother's FM radio in the evening. I changed the station to an underground rock station in town with KUDL call letters, (they have been through multiple format changes over the years). I remember the songs that caught my interest. They were The James Gang, "Walk Away", and Led Zeppelin, "The Immigrant Song". I had never heard any soundlike that before.


Everything I had listened to in the past was my parents music. Dad like Elvis Presley and the Lawrence Welk Show, while Mom liked Tom Jones, Herb Alpert and other popular musicians. I had developed my own tastes, but they were always the current pop stars such as Glen Campbell or the Partridge Family. I had a crush on Susan Dey up until her LA Law days, and was depressed when I learned that she lip synced. I wanted to grow my hair long like David Cassidy. After all, he was the chick magnet of my childhood.

But now I had my own kind of music. Rock. I soon began to follow other bands. My first concert was to see Sugarloaf in the Shawnee Mission North High School gym. They had just released their first and only hit, "Green Eyed Lady". It was a bid deal to me. I bought their cassette and wore it out.

Once I starting working regularly, I bought my own stereo and increased the number of bands I followed. I began to support BTO, Grand Funk Railroad, Chicago, Steppenwolf, Alice Cooper, and others with my record purchases. Once I moved away from home, having the loudest, and best quality stereo system was a priority. I purchased a stereo receiver from Kennedy and Cohen for around $1,000. It had 100 watts per channel. When paired with the large speakers I had built, I could light up the night. Yet, it wasn't the best stereo on the block.


A friend of mine had an older (probably 25 years old) acquaintance who made great money and dumped it all into stereo gear. He had pre-amps, post-amps, tuner, turntable, reel to reel, equalizers, and to top it all off, the baddest speakers made at the time - the JBL Voice of the Studio. They stood 5 to 6 feet tall, 3 feet wide and 3 feet deep. The sound that came from them was the purest and loudest I had ever heard. This stereo was spread across the living room and dining room of a single family house. My friends and I would visit and bring our favorite albums, hoping for permission to play them on this incredibly awesome system. In those days, we were music snobs. Pop records were never played. Even suggesting that we play the Eagles "Desperado" (a classic) was met with boo and hisses. Glass Harp, The Grateful Dead, Jefferson Airplane, Hot Tuna, and other alternative rock bands were the favorites. And we would turn it up. You could hear our music from blocks away.


I knew I could never afford gear like that, but it didn't stop me from constantly improving what I had. I added newer equipment, built new speakers, and even built custom speakers into a room at my house. And I never stopped building my collection of music. I still have most of that old vinyl in the basement. I find it incredible that the sound quality that required thousands of dollars of investment then, not to mention donating rooms in your house, can now be replicated in a personal digital music player. Even my entire library of music can now fit on my medium sized iPod.


My current sound systems double as the systems used for TV audio. I have two Bose surround sound systems. I have a 5.1 system connected to the 60 inch Sony HDTV. We use this system to watch DVD movies. The sound is pure and crisp and the power can rattle the windows. After moving into our new home I realized that I could not wire the great room for rear speakers, so a 5.1 system could not be installed. That prompted the purchase of a Bose 3.2.1 system. While not true surround sound, the audio is clear and crisp and the system has more than enough power for a single room. We have this system connected to the 50 inch plasma over the fireplace. Both systems are also used to listen to CD audio.


As my musical tastes have changed over the years, the one constant has always been my attraction to any musical instrument, acoustic or electric guitar, mandolin, banjo, piano, Dobro, or any other as long as the musician playing it had talent. Certain bands that had a unique sound might have caught my attention briefly, but if there was little musical talent I would quickly lose interest.

That means that my taste for music closely follows musicians who have talent and not necessarily the type of music played. I now listen to country and bluegrass music more that any other type of music. That was unthinkable in my youth, but when I see Brad Paisley or Keith Urban play their guitars, I know where the rock music of my youth is now played. When I see the talent of Alison Kraus and Union Station, or The Greencards, I don't think of it as bluegrass. I am simply entertained by the skill of the dedicated musicians.

What I listen to hasn't really changed that much over the years. There is very little difference between the music of the Grateful Dead and today's bluegrass. Jerry Garcia of the Grateful Dead cut at least 2 bluegrass albums late in his career. Today's bluegrass musician is a likely to play and old Grateful Dead song as something from Earl and Scruggs

Similarities between older rock music and today's country music can also be seen. One current concert TV show, Crossroads, points this out repeatedly. Taylor Swift blends in nicely with geriatric rockers, Def Leppard. Sugarland's Jennifer Nettles trades songs with Bon Jovi. If their music was that different, you would not be able to pull it off. I say, it's not that different.

If the musician has talent, I like to listen.

Friday, July 10, 2009

I Like to Watch

Just like the Peter Sellers line from the moving Being There, I like to watch too. I love TV. I would like to think that I only watch heady, sophisitcated fare, but my DVR would not agree. Among my series recordings are "My Name is Earl" (RIP), and Kath and Kim. But I am not ashamed.

My love affair with TV started in my early teens. I remember my first TV. It was a 9 inch black and white model that I bought with money earned on a paper route. The first night I owned it, I stayed up late and watch the classic mafia movie "The Black Hand". I don't remember what my second TV was, but I owned it in my latter teens when other interests seem to dominate the male mind.


Once Terri and I married, I began purchasing a string of progressively better TV sets. We quickly abandoned the 13 inch color set Terri brought to the marriage for a new 25 inch color console. We were living the high life.


Next was a 20 inch set with stereo audio. I sacrificed picture area for better sound. It was also the first TV we owned that had a remote control and the first connected to cable TV.


For my 30th birthday, Terri bought me a massive 30 inch monster. The thing weighed over 100 lbs. Carrying that thing in the house was the cause of a double hernia I had repaired. We recently gave that set away to a friend. After the digital transition and with prices for flat screens dropping, those old dinosaurs have little value.

The next set was a 45 inch rear projection TV. It was large, but picture quality was poor. We only kept that one a few years before giving it away. I think my daughter sold it on eBay for $75. I am surprised she got that much.

It was at this point that I became a TV collector. My first HDTV was a 60 inch Sony DLP. Sony sure makes good stuff. The 1080p picture is still the best in the house. Neighbors would tell me that when they pulled into my driveway, it was like parking at the drive in theatre.

My next set was a 42 inch plasma. We purchased it to fit the custom space over our fireplace. It was pre-wired for a flat screen, so we were required to buy one to install there. The next set was a 32 inch LCD screen for the bedroom. Our last purchase was a 50" plasma to replace the screen over the fireplace. It seems that we did not leverage the entire space well enough with the 42 inch, so that is now fixed.

As much as I love TV, I like browsing the TV section of electronics stores just as much. I rarely miss an opportunity to see what the new models look like, and are priced at. The new LED screens have caught my eye. Maybe Terri would like one for her Christmas present. I was also impressed that you can now get refrigerators with flat screens built in. There is another idea.

You may think that 4 flat screens (and 2 non-digital TVs) would be overkill in a 3 bedroom house with 2 occupants. I think not. After all, both bathrooms, one bedroom, the garage, patio and storage areas are still without screens. I would admit that putting a TV in the storage area would be extreme, (I can always move a set there when I need to).

I think you know what I will be doing tonight. Yes, watching TV. COPS and NASCAR will compete for my attention. Terri wants to see a pay per view movie. Don't worry, we will work it out.

You need to understand that TVs don't watch themselves. Somebody had to do it.

Don't use the customer's bathroom

I don't know why I thought of it, but I recalled a funny story yesterday and decided to share it. The story relates to guys and peeing, and how we are less inhibited and better equipped than women to pee when and where we want. My grandson is a great example. He feels it is just as appropriate to pee off the deck into their backyard as it is to use a restroom.

So the story starts in a former job. I worked for a cable TV company as a technician. Finding suitable restrooms was always a challenge for guys like us. There is not always a McDonald's or Quik Trip around the corner, so we would find ingenious ways to find relief without attracting attention. It is amazing how a guy can pee in plain sight, 25 foot up a telephone pole, or on a busy street while searching for a tool in the bins of a work truck, without anyone knowing.

A co-worker of mine had a different experience. He found himself pulling cable TV lines through the attic of a customer's home when the effects of the supersized Coke from lunch hit. The cable company we worked for discouraged the practice of using customer's bathrooms. I can understand this for some body functions that might leave a telltale odor for minutes or hours. But peeing? It seems like that shouldn't unreasonably offend the homeowner.

What should he do? He would lose 30 minutes of the work day if he were to climb down, get in his truck, find a public restroom, return, and get back up to the job. Asking to use the customer's bathroom was considered bad practice, so my co-worker looked for other possible solutions. And there in the corner of the attic was his solution. He spotted an empty soda bottle. What a elegant solution. Pee in the bottle, carefully place it back where he found it, and get back to work. He would not lose any time, and not need to offend the customer by using their bathroom. Over time the urine would evaporate and nobody would be the wiser.

Attics can be dangerous places as my co-worker found out. Just as he found relief, his foot slipped off the ceiling joist he was standing on, and down through the sheetrock he fell. He fell into the customer's kitchen, where the lady of the house was starting to prepare the family dinner. In one hand he had a bottle of urine and in the other his manhood.

Do you think the customer would have been more or less offended by a request to use their bathroom?

Monday, July 6, 2009

My father

On July 3rd, my parents would have celebrated their 55th wedding anniversary. There was not celebration because my father passed away on October 3rd, 2005. It seems like a lifetime has passed since we celebrated their 50th anniversary in Sunrise Beach, Missouri. It was at their 50th celebration that I noticed his health was beginning to fail.

He began to get frail. His walk turned into a shuffle. He had difficulty getting into a car or out of a chair. In late September, 2005 he caught pneumonia. After a week in the hospital, he convinced the doctor to release him. Within a couple days he was back in the hospital suffering from labored breathing. His pneumonia had progressed to Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome (ARDS). He dies peacefully 8 days later.

For those into numbers, my father was born on 3/10 and died on 10/3. July third, October 3 and March 10th, Thanksgiving and Christmas are among the dates that always bring him to my mind. He was a great father, and I do miss him.

When he died, I felt that I no longer had wise soul to bounce my thoughts off, or ask advice. A part of my support system was gone. We did not speak often before he died. We would usually have a phone conversation every month or two. It was enough to keep him current on the family events. He always asked when we would come to see him. Those visits were rare. We were able to introduce him to his great granddaughter, Madison, on one of our last visits.

At his funeral, I delivered the Eulogy. Although I dreaded that task at first, I prepared well and found it was far easier to deliver that I thought that it could be. The preparation had forced me to deal with his death and I found closure. The knowledge of our faith comforted me. The text of the eulogy follows.



Frank Thomas Bryant, Sr. – Eulogy delivered by his son on October 7th, 2005

Today I invite you to a time of celebration. We celebrate my father’s completed journey - a journey filled with many milestones - among them, birth, childhood, adolescence, maturity, marriage, fatherhood, grand fatherhood, retirement, great-grand fatherhood, death, and finally, eternity.

His family and friends will miss him, and because of our loss, we will today shed tears. But still, we celebrate because we know where he is. We celebrate because we know he is no longer burdened by physical challenges. We celebrate because we will see him again him one day. Today I invite you to celebrate a life well lived.

Let me begin by describing my father through the eyes of his son. By the world’s standards, he was a very average man. He was not a distinguished leader in the workplace or the community. There will be no buildings, bridges, roads or parks that will bear his name. He did not invent a machine that will change our lives, or make a discovery that will be recorded in history. But through the eyes of his son, he will be remembered as a great man.

I will always remember my father as a kind, generous and gentle man. Harsh words were never a part of his character. Helpfulness was. I could not help but notice that throughout his adult life, he always served in the church as a deacon, an usher, or on a committee. Whenever there was a call for volunteers, he was ready and willing.

I still see my father as a physically strong man. While in his 30’s, he excavated the foundation for an addition to our house, by hand – he then built that addition after working full shifts at Proctor and Gamble. In his 50’s, he re-roofed that same house during the heat of summer. In his 60’s, he painted his lake house, climbing tall extension ladders to reach the high points. Until his recent illness, he continued to take on and complete projects around the house. My father was never someone who avoided hard work.

I remember my father as a man who was always there for the family. He was an early riser, usually leaving for work before I got up for school. He would then be home in the late afternoon – earlier than most fathers. I remember there was always plenty of time to play catch in the backyard, or a game of horse at the basketball goal.

My father was there to see my baseball and football games. He was there as a Boy Scout leader, at troop meetings, and on camp outs. He was there to endure the grade school band concerts.

Through the eyes of his son, my father was a great man.


Last weekend I sat by my father’s hospital bed with my daughter. She described a fond memory of her grandpa rescuing her from the daycare routine. They would go for a ride, which usually ended up at a Quick Trip for a frozen Koolee. That exclusive granddaughter, grandfather one-on-one time let her know that she was extra special in his eyes. Through the eyes of a granddaughter, so was he.

My brothers and sisters remember how our father loved a good meal. Holidays were a time when the family gathered for meals. Trips to the lake were also used as a reason for dinners at the B&P Barbecue Pit, or another restaurant around the Lake of the Ozarks. Our father usually topped off a good meal with a nap in his easy chair, where soon he would be snoring.

Every year, just before Christmas, we remember that our father would head for the kitchen where he was quite an accomplished candy maker. After creating his specialties - peanut clusters, peppermint bark, peanut butter balls, and the most wonderful English toffee you have ever tasted - he would then distribute the bags of the candy to family and friends throughout the Christmas season.

My sisters remember how our father would make sure they each had a corsage to wear to church on Easter Sunday. This tradition started as a surprise, but after a couple years became expected.

My brother and sisters remember how our father enjoyed coffee at any time of the day. We always enjoyed sitting with him on the deck of his lake house, sipping coffee early in the morning or late at night. Very few words were ever said as we just watched the water and listened to the lake sounds.

Through the eyes of my brothers and sisters, my father was a great man.


My father was a man of character. His father built this character - sometimes at the end of a hickory stick. My father knew that a spanking at school meant another one when he got home. But he later stated that he never got a spanking that he didn't deserved. Neither did I.

My father told us of a time in his childhood when he referred to a man using a cruel name. His father took him to that man and made him apologize. My father remembered how embarrassed he was to make that apology – something that stuck with him throughout his life.

My father told us of a time when he stole 2 cents worth of candy. His father took him to the store to repay the owner and apologize. My father endured the shame and became a better person for it.

These are a few of the events that shaped my father’s character. He believed that lies were always lies, the truth was always the truth, right was right, and wrong was wrong. Relativism was not an acceptable concept. My father worked to instill these same values in his children.

Now I would like to address my brothers - Cliff and Don, and my sisters - Julie and Lori. We have all witnessed the character of our father, and benefited from his gentle nature and generosity. We cannot ignore his example.

Our father leaves behind his wife. We must attempt to fill the void in her life. Our mother needs our company and our help.

Our father leaves us, his 5 children, behind. We must ensure that his memory is preserved, and that his values live on within our families.

Our father leaves behind 14 grandchildren. We must continue to build character and instill values within them, just as our father and grandfather did in theirs.

Our father leaves behind 2 great-grandchildren. If we are successful parents, we will see our father’s character in them also.

Our father has left his mark on this world. He did so by tending to his only possessions that have eternal value. Our father’s legacy is now ours.


So on this day of celebration, I am happy.
I am happy that I was blessed with a kind and gentle father.
I am happy that my father was so much a part of my childhood.
I am happy that my father taught character and values by example.
I am happy that my family blessed my father with grandchildren, and that his grandchildren will remember him.
I am happy that my father lived to see his 50th wedding anniversary and celebrate it with his bride.
I am happy that my father became a great-grandfather, and was able to celebrate his great-granddaughter’s first birthday.
I am happy and proud to carry his name.

In closing, I would like to share the lyrics of a song that has provided comfort to me during these last few weeks. I do not believe my father ever heard the song, but I am confident this would be his message to us on this day.

When I get where I'm going
On the far side of the sky
The first thing that I'm gonna do Is spread my wings and fly
I'm gonna land beside a lion
And run my fingers through his mane
Or I might find out what it's like
To ride a drop of rain
I'm gonna walk with my grand daddy
And he'll match me step for step
And I'll tell him how I missed him
Every minute since he left
When I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
I will shed the sins and struggles I have carried all these years
And I'll leave my heart wide open
I will love and have no fear
When I get where I'm going
And I see my maker's face
I'll stand forever in the light Of his amazing grace
When I get where I'm going
Don’t cry for me down here

Job Interviewing

In my current position, I have interviewed hundreds of candidates for various open positions on my team. In all the hires I have made, I consider only 2 as mistakes. I believe the job interview is the place when the candidate will tell you 99% of what you need to know to make a hiring decision. The interviewer must craft their questions well, and listen carefully. When executed correctly, the candidate will tell you if they are a good fit on your team.


I always like to start the interview with a harmless sounding question like "tell me your story, what are you interested in, what do you do when you are not at work? It can start with I was born as an infant, and end with how you travelled to this interview. Fill in the rest". My intent is to get the candidate started with something easy that will make them comfortable. There is no chance they will offer up their interest in pedophilia, or augmenting their income through petty larceny. But as they describe their interests, I tune into references to family and friends. I want the employees on my team to be grounded with a support structure. I also become wary if they are not willing to share their interests. After all, we all have interests. Watching TV is an interest I can even related to. If a person is not willing to share interests, you have to wonder what they are up to.


At some point early in the interview, I ask how they have been evaluated in their current or past positions. The question seems innocuous and I normally get honest answers, especially when interviewing internal hires. They know that one call to HR will reveal the truth. Most applicants respond that they were rated 2 or 3 on a 5 point scale, 1 being the highest. I then move on to other questions.


Later in the interview, I follow up with a question about how many people have roughly the same role on their current team. If they have 3 or more peers, I ask how they would compare themselves to their peers. Invariably they respond that they are the best or in the top 2-3 contributors on their team. I will then ask how they square their self-assessment with the average evaluation provided by former bosses.


If I am interviewing a poor candidate, this is the point they tell you take a pass on them. I have seen multiple candidates melt down with explanations of favoritism, office politics, or a stupid boss as the reasons for the discrepancy. A good candidate will either assess themselves based on evaluation feedback from past bosses, or build up the abilities of their current team and peers.


The single most important part of an interview to me is to listen to how the candidate describes their past accomplishments. It is difficult, time consuming, and nearly impossible to check out every interview or resume claim, but if a candidate can describe their accomplishments with excitement and pride, they are probably telling you the truth.


It is also during this time I look for the "twinkle in their eye" that tells you they understand why the accomplishment was important and indicates a competency at the job. I would rather have a slightly under qualified employee that has bought into a bigger picture than a completely qualified employee that mails it in every day.


My best example was a hire I made in 1999. In order to mitigate potential risk, I opened a position as a contractor spot, but interviewed candidates as if I would eventually hire them full time. I learned early that hiring a bad contractor could be remedied immediately, while a bad employee hire can be with you for years. Of all the candidates I interviewed for the new position, the man I hired had the thinnest resume and admitted that he could not perform in the role without training. I hired him simply based on his enthusiasm and his ability to quickly pick up on why the job was important to my team's goals. He was not qualified to do the job, but convinced me that he would put forth the required effort.

I brought this candidate on as a contractor and he performed so well that I hired him to my staff 6 months later. He quickly learned the technical aspects of the role, worked hard, established processes to govern the assignment, met every deliverable given him, and excelled beyond anything I could have expected based on his resume. After working for me one year, this individual applied for an engineering job in a peer team. I spoke to that hiring manager and shared my thoughts. I gave my guy good marks for enthusiasm and execution, but mentioned that he was not a qualified engineer at this point in his career.


My guy must have made a good impression on the peer hiring manager because he got the job. I checked back a few months later to see how he was doing. Not only was he meeting expectations, the engineering manager said that all high priority, short time frame projects were given to my guy because he was tenacious and delivered when established engineers would not.


The only canned interview question I ask is "what do you want to be doing in 5 years". The answer I am looking for is different based on the specific job. If the job is a highly technical position, I want the candidate to tell me that their goal is to be the most competent person on my staff in 5 years. The last thing I need is to hire a subject matter expert whose goal is to leave my team. If the role is more a general staff position, I am fine with an answer that indicates movement into leadership roles within the company. I want my staff positions to assume leadership roles in the projects they are assigned.

The worst interview candidate I have ever spoke with was a woman, approximately 40 years old, who applied for a administrative assistant position on my team. She was a 10+ year veteran of the company and had spent those years in the procurement division, mostly processing purchase orders and invoices. Her demeanor through out the entire interview made me wonder if she had been given a lobotomy. Her responses were completely emotionless, deadpan, and dry. She offered no information unless prodded by a question. When asked about her expertise with Microsoft Office products, she indicated a proficiency. That was good, since the job required a working knowledge of Word and Excel. When pressed on her abilities at entering formulas into Excel cells, she replied "I mainly like to type stuff into the boxes. I don't do formulas. I really don't like details like that". She did not get the job.