He began to get frail. His walk turned into a shuffle. He had difficulty getting into a car or out of a chair. In late September, 2005 he caught pneumonia. After a week in the hospital, he convinced the doctor to release him. Within a couple days he was back in the hospital suffering from labored breathing. His pneumonia had progressed to Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome (ARDS). He dies peacefully 8 days later.
For those into numbers, my father was born on 3/10 and died on 10/3. July third, October 3 and March 10th, Thanksgiving and Christmas are among the dates that always bring him to my mind. He was a great father, and I do miss him.
When he died, I felt that I no longer had wise soul to bounce my thoughts off, or ask advice. A part of my support system was gone. We did not speak often before he died. We would usually have a phone conversation every month or two. It was enough to keep him current on the family events. He always asked when we would come to see him. Those visits were rare. We were able to introduce him to his great granddaughter, Madison, on one of our last visits.
At his funeral, I delivered the Eulogy. Although I dreaded that task at first, I prepared well and found it was far easier to deliver that I thought that it could be. The preparation had forced me to deal with his death and I found closure. The knowledge of our faith comforted me. The text of the eulogy follows.
Frank Thomas Bryant, Sr. – Eulogy delivered by his son on October 7th, 2005
Today I invite you to a time of celebration. We celebrate my father’s completed journey - a journey filled with many milestones - among them, birth, childhood, adolescence, maturity, marriage, fatherhood, grand fatherhood, retirement, great-grand fatherhood, death, and finally, eternity.
His family and friends will miss him, and because of our loss, we will today shed tears. But still, we celebrate because we know where he is. We celebrate because we know he is no longer burdened by physical challenges. We celebrate because we will see him again him one day. Today I invite you to celebrate a life well lived.
Let me begin by describing my father through the eyes of his son. By the world’s standards, he was a very average man. He was not a distinguished leader in the workplace or the community. There will be no buildings, bridges, roads or parks that will bear his name. He did not invent a machine that will change our lives, or make a discovery that will be recorded in history. But through the eyes of his son, he will be remembered as a great man.
I will always remember my father as a kind, generous and gentle man. Harsh words were never a part of his character. Helpfulness was. I could not help but notice that throughout his adult life, he always served in the church as a deacon, an usher, or on a committee. Whenever there was a call for volunteers, he was ready and willing.
I still see my father as a physically strong man. While in his 30’s, he excavated the foundation for an addition to our house, by hand – he then built that addition after working full shifts at Proctor and Gamble. In his 50’s, he re-roofed that same house during the heat of summer. In his 60’s, he painted his lake house, climbing tall extension ladders to reach the high points. Until his recent illness, he continued to take on and complete projects around the house. My father was never someone who avoided hard work.
I remember my father as a man who was always there for the family. He was an early riser, usually leaving for work before I got up for school. He would then be home in the late afternoon – earlier than most fathers. I remember there was always plenty of time to play catch in the backyard, or a game of horse at the basketball goal.
My father was there to see my baseball and football games. He was there as a Boy Scout leader, at troop meetings, and on camp outs. He was there to endure the grade school band concerts.
Through the eyes of his son, my father was a great man.
Last weekend I sat by my father’s hospital bed with my daughter. She described a fond memory of her grandpa rescuing her from the daycare routine. They would go for a ride, which usually ended up at a Quick Trip for a frozen Koolee. That exclusive granddaughter, grandfather one-on-one time let her know that she was extra special in his eyes. Through the eyes of a granddaughter, so was he.
My brothers and sisters remember how our father loved a good meal. Holidays were a time when the family gathered for meals. Trips to the lake were also used as a reason for dinners at the B&P Barbecue Pit, or another restaurant around the Lake of the Ozarks. Our father usually topped off a good meal with a nap in his easy chair, where soon he would be snoring.
Every year, just before Christmas, we remember that our father would head for the kitchen where he was quite an accomplished candy maker. After creating his specialties - peanut clusters, peppermint bark, peanut butter balls, and the most wonderful English toffee you have ever tasted - he would then distribute the bags of the candy to family and friends throughout the Christmas season.
My sisters remember how our father would make sure they each had a corsage to wear to church on Easter Sunday. This tradition started as a surprise, but after a couple years became expected.
My brother and sisters remember how our father enjoyed coffee at any time of the day. We always enjoyed sitting with him on the deck of his lake house, sipping coffee early in the morning or late at night. Very few words were ever said as we just watched the water and listened to the lake sounds.
Through the eyes of my brothers and sisters, my father was a great man.
My father was a man of character. His father built this character - sometimes at the end of a hickory stick. My father knew that a spanking at school meant another one when he got home. But he later stated that he never got a spanking that he didn't deserved. Neither did I.
My father told us of a time in his childhood when he referred to a man using a cruel name. His father took him to that man and made him apologize. My father remembered how embarrassed he was to make that apology – something that stuck with him throughout his life.
My father told us of a time when he stole 2 cents worth of candy. His father took him to the store to repay the owner and apologize. My father endured the shame and became a better person for it.
These are a few of the events that shaped my father’s character. He believed that lies were always lies, the truth was always the truth, right was right, and wrong was wrong. Relativism was not an acceptable concept. My father worked to instill these same values in his children.
Now I would like to address my brothers - Cliff and Don, and my sisters - Julie and Lori. We have all witnessed the character of our father, and benefited from his gentle nature and generosity. We cannot ignore his example.
Our father leaves behind his wife. We must attempt to fill the void in her life. Our mother needs our company and our help.
Our father leaves us, his 5 children, behind. We must ensure that his memory is preserved, and that his values live on within our families.
Our father leaves behind 14 grandchildren. We must continue to build character and instill values within them, just as our father and grandfather did in theirs.
Our father leaves behind 2 great-grandchildren. If we are successful parents, we will see our father’s character in them also.
Our father has left his mark on this world. He did so by tending to his only possessions that have eternal value. Our father’s legacy is now ours.
So on this day of celebration, I am happy.
I am happy that I was blessed with a kind and gentle father.
I am happy that my father was so much a part of my childhood.
I am happy that my father taught character and values by example.
I am happy that my family blessed my father with grandchildren, and that his grandchildren will remember him.
I am happy that my father lived to see his 50th wedding anniversary and celebrate it with his bride.
I am happy that my father became a great-grandfather, and was able to celebrate his great-granddaughter’s first birthday.
I am happy and proud to carry his name.
In closing, I would like to share the lyrics of a song that has provided comfort to me during these last few weeks. I do not believe my father ever heard the song, but I am confident this would be his message to us on this day.
When I get where I'm going
Today I invite you to a time of celebration. We celebrate my father’s completed journey - a journey filled with many milestones - among them, birth, childhood, adolescence, maturity, marriage, fatherhood, grand fatherhood, retirement, great-grand fatherhood, death, and finally, eternity.
His family and friends will miss him, and because of our loss, we will today shed tears. But still, we celebrate because we know where he is. We celebrate because we know he is no longer burdened by physical challenges. We celebrate because we will see him again him one day. Today I invite you to celebrate a life well lived.
Let me begin by describing my father through the eyes of his son. By the world’s standards, he was a very average man. He was not a distinguished leader in the workplace or the community. There will be no buildings, bridges, roads or parks that will bear his name. He did not invent a machine that will change our lives, or make a discovery that will be recorded in history. But through the eyes of his son, he will be remembered as a great man.
I will always remember my father as a kind, generous and gentle man. Harsh words were never a part of his character. Helpfulness was. I could not help but notice that throughout his adult life, he always served in the church as a deacon, an usher, or on a committee. Whenever there was a call for volunteers, he was ready and willing.
I still see my father as a physically strong man. While in his 30’s, he excavated the foundation for an addition to our house, by hand – he then built that addition after working full shifts at Proctor and Gamble. In his 50’s, he re-roofed that same house during the heat of summer. In his 60’s, he painted his lake house, climbing tall extension ladders to reach the high points. Until his recent illness, he continued to take on and complete projects around the house. My father was never someone who avoided hard work.
I remember my father as a man who was always there for the family. He was an early riser, usually leaving for work before I got up for school. He would then be home in the late afternoon – earlier than most fathers. I remember there was always plenty of time to play catch in the backyard, or a game of horse at the basketball goal.
My father was there to see my baseball and football games. He was there as a Boy Scout leader, at troop meetings, and on camp outs. He was there to endure the grade school band concerts.
Through the eyes of his son, my father was a great man.
Last weekend I sat by my father’s hospital bed with my daughter. She described a fond memory of her grandpa rescuing her from the daycare routine. They would go for a ride, which usually ended up at a Quick Trip for a frozen Koolee. That exclusive granddaughter, grandfather one-on-one time let her know that she was extra special in his eyes. Through the eyes of a granddaughter, so was he.
My brothers and sisters remember how our father loved a good meal. Holidays were a time when the family gathered for meals. Trips to the lake were also used as a reason for dinners at the B&P Barbecue Pit, or another restaurant around the Lake of the Ozarks. Our father usually topped off a good meal with a nap in his easy chair, where soon he would be snoring.
Every year, just before Christmas, we remember that our father would head for the kitchen where he was quite an accomplished candy maker. After creating his specialties - peanut clusters, peppermint bark, peanut butter balls, and the most wonderful English toffee you have ever tasted - he would then distribute the bags of the candy to family and friends throughout the Christmas season.
My sisters remember how our father would make sure they each had a corsage to wear to church on Easter Sunday. This tradition started as a surprise, but after a couple years became expected.
My brother and sisters remember how our father enjoyed coffee at any time of the day. We always enjoyed sitting with him on the deck of his lake house, sipping coffee early in the morning or late at night. Very few words were ever said as we just watched the water and listened to the lake sounds.
Through the eyes of my brothers and sisters, my father was a great man.
My father was a man of character. His father built this character - sometimes at the end of a hickory stick. My father knew that a spanking at school meant another one when he got home. But he later stated that he never got a spanking that he didn't deserved. Neither did I.
My father told us of a time in his childhood when he referred to a man using a cruel name. His father took him to that man and made him apologize. My father remembered how embarrassed he was to make that apology – something that stuck with him throughout his life.
My father told us of a time when he stole 2 cents worth of candy. His father took him to the store to repay the owner and apologize. My father endured the shame and became a better person for it.
These are a few of the events that shaped my father’s character. He believed that lies were always lies, the truth was always the truth, right was right, and wrong was wrong. Relativism was not an acceptable concept. My father worked to instill these same values in his children.
Now I would like to address my brothers - Cliff and Don, and my sisters - Julie and Lori. We have all witnessed the character of our father, and benefited from his gentle nature and generosity. We cannot ignore his example.
Our father leaves behind his wife. We must attempt to fill the void in her life. Our mother needs our company and our help.
Our father leaves us, his 5 children, behind. We must ensure that his memory is preserved, and that his values live on within our families.
Our father leaves behind 14 grandchildren. We must continue to build character and instill values within them, just as our father and grandfather did in theirs.
Our father leaves behind 2 great-grandchildren. If we are successful parents, we will see our father’s character in them also.
Our father has left his mark on this world. He did so by tending to his only possessions that have eternal value. Our father’s legacy is now ours.
So on this day of celebration, I am happy.
I am happy that I was blessed with a kind and gentle father.
I am happy that my father was so much a part of my childhood.
I am happy that my father taught character and values by example.
I am happy that my family blessed my father with grandchildren, and that his grandchildren will remember him.
I am happy that my father lived to see his 50th wedding anniversary and celebrate it with his bride.
I am happy that my father became a great-grandfather, and was able to celebrate his great-granddaughter’s first birthday.
I am happy and proud to carry his name.
In closing, I would like to share the lyrics of a song that has provided comfort to me during these last few weeks. I do not believe my father ever heard the song, but I am confident this would be his message to us on this day.
When I get where I'm going
On the far side of the sky
The first thing that I'm gonna do Is spread my wings and fly
I'm gonna land beside a lion
And run my fingers through his mane
Or I might find out what it's like
To ride a drop of rain
I'm gonna walk with my grand daddy
And he'll match me step for step
And I'll tell him how I missed him
Every minute since he left
When I get where I'm going
When I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
I will shed the sins and struggles I have carried all these years
And I'll leave my heart wide open
I will love and have no fear
When I get where I'm going
And I see my maker's face
I'll stand forever in the light Of his amazing grace
When I get where I'm going
Don’t cry for me down here
When I get where I'm going
Don’t cry for me down here
Great read. I remember talking about this when we were in Florida. This was very well written and presented.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful UFrank. I know the entire family was comforted and blessed by your words that day at your daddy's funeral. I have VERY fond memories of summers on the lake with your parents. Your dad's tender nature towards me will always be remembered. From Scotcheroo's that I ate until I was sick to hanging out on the boat, good times are remembered! Great post!
ReplyDelete