How I Met My Wife

July 30th marks the 32nd anniversary of my marriage to Terri Lee Hansen. I think it is also a good opportunity to blog about how we met, and our courtship.

I first met Terri around 1973 or 1974. I was a cook at Red Lobster and she was a waitress at JB Big Boys in Shawnee. Since I normally worked the late shift, I would not get off work until midnight or after. I and my buddies would sometimes go to a local restaurant for coffee and to unwind. JB’s was a frequent stop for us since it was open 24 hours. I don’t think Terri remembers me. I am sure that I blended in to the hundreds of customers she waited on over the years. Still, I am surprised she can not remember the group of guys who showed up often that reeked of shrimp and bad oysters.

I distinctly remember Terri. Her father worked for International Harvester, and was recently transferred to KC from Memphis. Terri had no choice but move, so reluctantly followed leaving her older sister in Memphis. Terri had a distinct southern drawl. We nicknamed her Arkansas Sexy. She had shoulder length black hair with a little bit of curl, and would keep her hair bundled in the back under a hair net. I immediately found her attractive, but not because of the hair net. She put up with a lot from my crew, but I always remember her as cheerful and patient. She would let us have our good natured ribbing, send a little of it back our way, and then take our order.

Our relationship never went beyond that of a waitress and customer during that time. In 1975, our paths crossed again through a mutual friend. I and 5 buddies occupied 3 apartments in the same building. We were all around 19 or 20 years old, so weekends at the apartment were, shall we say, active. Apartment management did not like any of us and were busy plotting to kick us out. More on that in a future blog. During one weekend party, Terri and her friends showed up. At the time, she was dating a friend of mine. It was not serious, and as I later found, Terri was planning to move back to Memphis and resume a relationship with a former boyfriend. The relationship with my friend was not working. My friend was not great at impressing the ladies. While he was very outgoing, he tended to turn them off when he asked for gas money when on a date. I saw my opportunity and swooped in.

We started talking a lot. She began showing up at my apartment since it was the happenin’ place every evening for all of our friends. While I do not believe I asked her if she wanted to start dating, we started going out alone. She informed me that her heart was in Memphis, and that she would soon return there. I pursued anyway. Soon we were an item. Hardly a day passed when we did not get together. After several months, I confided in our mutual friend as to the nature of Terri and my relationship. I was pleased to learn that Terri was also confiding in that person, and her feelings had changed. That gave me the courage to tell her that I loved her the next evening. She laughed. I think she might have replied with the same, but all I remember is the laugh. It was the first time I had told a woman that I loved her, and she laughed!

The courtship continued, but not for long. It would soon turn into an engagement. I started to jewelry shop and settled on a jeweler in downtown Kansas City. He convinced me that when shopping for diamonds, quality is more important than size. Terri has come to deal with that many times over the years. I bought a $400 engagement/wedding ring set on payments. I asked Terri if she would like to dine at a local restaurant named Sam Wilson’s. It was an establishment slightly more elegant than Stuckey’s. It was February 12th, 1977, two days before Valentine’s day, so a Valentine’s dinner was all that she suspected. I asked her to marry me before the meal was served. A punch line would be that she laughed, but that is not how I remember it. I think she said, "Alright". Whatever the words were, she accepted my proposal of marriage. I was 20 and she was 18 years old.

The parents were told with differing reactions. Her parents did not believe it, mine were eager to get the first kid married off. We married 5 months later (before the ring was paid off) and the rest is history. As we approach the start of our 33rd year a few things leap to my mind.
Terri is a good woman. She has improved me, turning a lump of coal into a polished lump of coal. I have not regretted a single year of our marriage. Each year has been better than the one before. If I had it all to do again, I‘d do it all again.

Terri, I love you (don’t laugh). I am grateful that you decided to stay in Kansas City.