Criticism

I am not that good at taking criticism.  Even the constructive kind.  I shouldn't be that way, but I am.  When someone tells me that my brisket was too dry, you shouldn't cook bacon over a open flame, or maybe that electric smoker wasn't such a good idea, I react negatively.  I know they are trying to help me, but I guess I am thin skinned.  -T claims that I have become increasingly sensitive in my advancing maturity.

It is strange that I take criticism so poorly, because giving it is one of my strengths.  As a manager, one of my primary roles is to criticize.  We call it coaching or developmental feedback, but it is just criticism.  The good kind. I soften it by telling my folks that it would be unfair not to criticize them.  After all, how can I expect them to improve year after year if I don't tell them what to improve on?

Delivery of criticism is also a talent.  I once took a course that claimed that you can tell anybody anything if you just say it the right way.  I don't know about that, but I do my best.  One tactic is to lead off the criticism with a complement.  "You are one of the strongest contributors on my team and could become even stronger if you would show up for work occasionally."   "I really feel fortunate to have you on my team, and would like to see you become less timid and more productive."  This also works with personal relationships.   "Your brisket is wonderful.  Too bad it is a little dry."  "Cooking bacon on the grill is a great idea! It's so unfortunate it didn't work."  "You absolutely rock!  I know you will master the electric smoker very soon!"