Facebook Personalities

Facebook has been forefront in the news lately, announcing they now have over 50 millions users.  They have also been valued at over 50 billion dollars in preparation for an IPO.  The recent attention along with the movie, The Social Network, has combined to make facebook a big news story in late 2010, early 2011.

I love facebook.  I am one of the old dudes who has ruined facebook for the young kids.  You may know what I am referring to.  Have you ever been accepted as a friend on facebook, and then notice the accepter immediately and completely reworks their public profile?  If you put yourself in their shoes you can recreate the thought process.  They get the friend request from you, decide it is better to accept it than reject so as not to offend you.  Then sanitize their profile for your benefit.  It really makes me wonder what was there before ... Allison.

I firmly believe that half of the 50 million facebook users fall into one of two categories.  There was once a third major category of user I call the status detailer.  You know the type.  Your wall would be littered with their status updates every day, all day.  Something like:

Frank is getting hungry.  What should I eat?
Frank is fixing a sandwich
Frank is enjoying a sandwich.
Frank is digesting his sandwich.
Frank is ...
You know the type.  Most of the status detailers have moved on to Twitter since it meets their needs far better than facebook.  The next major personality type of facebook user is the hypochondriac.  Facebook, to them is an ear for all their physical issues.  If you have a hypochondriac friend on facebook, you always know how their feeling, when their next doctor's appointment is, how they slept last night, what medications they take and where their pain is located today.  It gets old.  Most hypochondriac facebook users don't know how they are viewed by others.  They just know that expressing their health issues on facebook scratches the hypochondria itch. 

The last type of facebook personality is the chronically anti-social.  That's me.  I don't call people on the phone, becasue I really don't want to talk to them.  If I get called, I respond to their questions but never wander off subject.  My goal is to address the reason they called, and then hang up.  But I love facebook.  You see, on facebook I can stay in touch with friends and relatives without actually talking to them.  Facebook is a dream come true for the caring chronically anti-social person like me.  I love facebook.