My Sampling Rights

I use this blog to rant against many of the things I see in the world that are just wrong. Today, I will rant against one of the most egregious offences one person can commit against another. It is something that happens in every major city across America every day. Chances are that it has happened to you. I am speaking out about the Costco Sample Impeder.

If you are a Costco member, you know what I am talking about. It is that person who parks their cart directly in front of the Costco sample station and exercises their member right of sampling the product, but then goes way over the line by engaging the sample worker in conversation. It is as if they not only feel the right for the free morsel, but also the obligation to linger in their sampling to give a review of the product. Do they think they are a frozen spinach ravioli connesuir? Did Costco place that sampling cart today only to get their opinion?

These people need to be dealt with harshly! Not only do they restrict my right to sample the product they are sampling, but the resulting cart jam also restricts my ability to get to the next sample booth. This is simply unpardonable. I doubt if Costco would be willing to place sample traffic officers around the sample stations, so other Costco customers should begin enforcing a sampling standard. That standard should be:

1. No more that 5 seconds should be allotted for selection of the largest of the 2 remaining samples at any location.
2. Minimal time (under 3 seconds) is required to thank the worker and MOVE ON!
3. Under no circumstances should a single customer select more than one sample, even if "it's for my husband who is in the frozen food section".
4. Shopper groups of more than 3 should stage their sampling so not to exhaust all sample inventory or impede the right of other customers to access a sample.
5. Exception is given to any offender if the samples constitute frozen broccoli linguine or tofu burgers. Since these products blow, the "Sample Impeder" is really doing everyone a favor and should be thanked.

Violators should be confronted by other customers and must immediately provide their Costco member number upon request. Week day violations will be considered a misdemenor, however weekend violations are felonies and qualify for 3 strikes and out consideration. Stiffer punishments should be considered for violations commited during the Christmas season.

Stand up for your rights Costco members!