Golf Jokes

You will get these if you are a golfer.  If you don't, ask one.

Golfer:"Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."

Caddie:"Think you can keep your head down that long?"

Golfer:"I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."
Caddie:"Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth...”

Golfer:"Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddie:"Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."

Golfer:"Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"
Caddie:"Eventually."

Golfer:"You've got to be the worst caddie in the world."
Caddie:"I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."

Golfer:"Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction."
Caddie:"It's not a watch - it's a compass."

Golfer:"How do you like my game?"
Caddie:"Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf."

Golfer:"Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?"
Caddie:"The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day."

Golfer:"This is the worst course I've ever played on."
Caddie:"This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago"

Golfer:"That can't be my ball, it's too old,"
Caddie:"It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."