Golf

Non-golfers cannot and do not understand golfers. I think they have good reason. We are difficult to figure out. After all, why do we spend our excess income and time on a game we will never master? Bowlers can always strive for a perfect game. Baseball players can achieve a no-hitter, hit for the cycle, or play error free. Football players can score every time they have the ball, shut out the opponents, and never fumble. Basketball players an try to match the perfection KU did on December 9th, 1989, when they routed Kentucky 150-95. There is nothing analogous for a golfer. A golfer always has an opportunity to better their best. There is no such thing as a perfect golf game.

I am not a good golfer even though I have played the game for the past 37 years. If I played any other sport as poorly as I play golf I would have quit a long ago. Yet I continue. I think it is because when playing golf, I occasionally hit a shot or putt that is as good as the best players in the game. I don't think I could replicate such a feat in another sport. I have sunk a 40 foot double-breaker. I have chipped in from 50 yards out. Pro golfers do that more often than I, but I can still do that if only less often. I could never throw a no-hitter, or play a single down of a pro football game. Maybe that is why so many of us spend so much time and money on the silly game called golf.

When a person plays golf for the first time, they react in one of two ways. They either love it and can't wait to play again, or they hate it and never play again. There isn't an in between. I can tell if you are a golfer by telling you golfer jokes.

Q: Why do we call the sport "Golf"?
A: Because it is an unused 4-letter word.

Q: What do you call a group of white guys with sticks in their hands and chasing a black man?
A: The KKK. Wrong! A lynching. Wrong! The PGA. Right!

A husband and wife are playing golf one day when the man shanks his drive off to the right behind the course's maintenance shed. After finding his ball, he visualizes the next shot going through the large door used by the mowers, through an open window on the other side, and on to the green. He hits the shot that misses the door, hits the wall and the ball ricochets back. The ball hits his wife between her eyes, killing her instantly.

The following year, the widower is on the same course and hole with a buddy. The buddy shanks his shot to the same location behind the maintenance shed. His buddy sees the same opportunity and tells the widower of his intent. The widower says "Oh no, don't try that. I tried that shot last year and made double bogey".

If you get these jokes, then you are a golfer. If not, find a golfer and ask them.