Empty Nest Part II

The Farr's have left the building.  They have been living in temporary locations for a year, starting in their Parallel rental house and then in our basement for the last 10 months.  Over that time, Terri and I were able to really get to know our grandkids in a way that most grandparents don't. It was good. Really good.  

We had a front row seat to watching Madison transform from the annoying Madditude into a young lady (Madditude makes occasion encores), her increased interest in boys, guitars and music, and witnessing her love of God and family. 

Coleton transformed from the little monkey boy, to an intense grade schooler who loves to play in the dirt, chase snakes, ride four-wheelers, and play video games. I will never get enough of those mornings he would come upstairs and start distributing hugs. 

But my strongest memories will no doubt be getting to know my first grandson Clay.  That kid has a personality that will serve him well in later life. He will be one of those people that others are drawn to. He is intelligent, articulate, warm and interesting - far beyond his 11 years.

I learned that Clay and I share much in common, and this led to weekend habits that will be hard to break. Sunday morning became donut day, and he would set his alarm to get up in time to go with me to fetch them and be back before church.  Saturday mornings were Perky's day.  Perky's is a local breakfast place that open recently and became our breakfast favorite.  Even Nana would tag along occasionally. 

Last Saturday, over scrambled eggs, bacon and a cinnamon roll, we acknowledged this was probably our last regular Saturday morning Perky's visit.  The conversation took a very serious tone as we discussed his interest in women that will no doubt be followed by courtship and marriage. Soon, he will need to beat them off with a stick. I took the opportunity to relay my vast knowledge of finding and holding a good women. Well one for one is batting 1000, right? I'm sort of an expert.

We started with a discussion of appearance. Who would he find attractive?  We decided his target demographic would be a brunette, with brown eyes and short in stature.  Eerily close to describing his mother, don't you think? 

Since there are literally millions (maybe billions) of short brunettes with brown eyes, it became imperative that we create screening criteria to alleviate the hordes of women that will soon be competing for his attention.  I helped him decide on these. 

1. Are you a Christian?

       Required answer: Yes.

2. Would you restrict web site access from your husband or set a daily time limit using electrics? 

       Preferred answer: No! (Apparently this is a problem with one specific short brunette with brown eyes)

3. Do you prefer a tidy or messy house?

       Preferred answer: Somewhere in the middle. Not as messy as Cole, but not as tidy as Nana.

4. Do you play Clash Royale?

       Preferred answer: Yes, here is my gamer ID.

5. Ford or Chevy?

       Preferred answer: Ford. (He's not perfect, so his women needn't be either)

6. Do you like hamburgers?

       Preferred answer: Yes, especially when cooked on a Big Green Egg.

7. Are you home schooled?

       Preferred answer: Yes.

8. Do you carry a leatherman or pocket knife?

       Preferred answer: Yes, with an integrated flashlight. (Yes, his does)

9. What is the muzzle velocity of a Nerf Rival blaster?  

       Preferred answer: 70 mph. (The woman must know her Nerf guns)

  

There will be more, but this should cull the herd.  By documenting the criterion, he can now select the chosen one by email or other electronic communications. This is the kind of functions that grandfathers were invented for. I am glad I had the time to help him.

The Farr Compound