Truth

Recent banter on facebook has me thinking about how lies are perceived in the society we live in.  The facebook exchange was regarding what a coach of a college basketball team should say when asked if they would be returning next year just as his team prepares for a big tournament.

The subject goes far beyond this example.  How many times have you heard someone say "he is a politician, they all lie."  This is usually said of a politician they support!  Or the phrase "you can tell when he is lying - his mouth moves."  The facebook conversation ended with one participant saying they were in sales, so they lie every day.  It seems that society accepts lies in certain situations. 

In the basketball team situation most coaches will say yes they will be back next season regardless of whether they know they will be.  To say no (especially heading into tournament time) would be demoralizing to the players and fans and make losing a virtual certainty.  But saying yes when they know they won't return is a lie.  To me, a lie is a lie and it is always wrong.  I feel that no answer is a better response than a lie.  I was the minority voice with this position.

But before you nominate me for sainthood, let me admit that I have and do continue to lie.  I don't lie as much as I once did, but it still happens more often than I would like.  The only difference between past lies and current ones is that I seem to recognize my current lies quicker and they weigh on my conscience more. 

So this is not a condemnation of those who I bantered with.  I am sure they are swell guys.  I do know that one is severely misguided when it comes to favorite basketball teams, but otherwise tolerable.  I am also sure the real life coach who lied about whether he is leaving the team is also a swell guy.  His record proves it.


So I have been thinking about whether there are exceptions to when it is appropriate to lie.  The coaches situation seems to be a real world example that many believe is an acceptable lie.  Other opportunities, such as "Does this dress make my butt look big?" are situations where a lie could be less hurtful than the truth.  Are these valid exceptions?

My own personal example is when one of my employees ask me if layoffs are coming.  My team has endured yearly layoffs for most of the last 12 years.  They sometimes ask me this question before making a significant purchase, or in the time leading up the customary period when most layoff occur.   My example is much like the college basketball coach's situation.  If I know they are coming and say yes, the team will stop performing and spend much of their time worrying or preparing for possible layoff. 

If I know they are coming and say no, I will lose the trust of my team once the layoffs are announced.  They will always question my honesty about everything from that point forward.  To me, that is the worse case scenario.  But it is also the correct answer according to the company I work for.  To leak that layoffs are coming would be grounds for corrective action.  So how can I balance my manager responsibility with maintaining trust with my team?

Fortunately, no one asked during the most recent layoffs, but I was concerned during the entire time that I knew one was coming.  My thought was that if someone asked, I would be evasive.  I would respond something like this:  "Periodically, the company examines their workloads and workforce and make adjustments.  If you are impacted you will be informed at the appropriate time."  It is like saying yes without saying yes.  The difference between that response and lying is that after the layoffs I still have the trust of my team.