Low Expectations

Usually all professional sports teams are enthusiastic about their own chances to win whatever title the sports offer. How many team players or coaches have you heard say, "We really don't have a real shot at winning this year". Instead, you hear them say they feel optimistic of their chances. Baseball spring training is an example of hope springing eternal. Nearly every team will claim their goal is to win the World Series and that they have a shot at it. That is except for one team.


It has been 20 years since I have heard a player, coach, manager or general manager mention the KC Royals having a chance at winning the World Series. Nor have I heard one of them mention making the World Series, winning the AL pennant, or winning their own division. No, the KC Royals have become master at setting low expectations. In Kansas City, the fans would consider a fantastic baseball season to be playing .500 ball, something that hasn't happened in nearly 20 years.

In 2009, the goal was to draw 2 million fans to the stadium. The last time the Royals had drawn that well was 1991 (the last year they finished above .500). The city had just spent a quarter billion dollars of taxpayer money to modernize the aging facility. The Royals missed theri attendence goal by only drawing 1.7 million. Still that was nearly 200k more than in 2008.

So 2010 rolls in, and the publicty machine starts setting expectations for the fans. If we can play .500 ball during the first half, we might be in contention for the division in the second half. Wrong. The Royals were out of contention by the All Star break. So now the goals for the 2010 season boil down to two. Don't lose 100 games, and don't finish in last place.

The 2010 KC Royals will be remembered as one of the few recent teams that did not lose 100 games. They stand at 64-92 with 6 games remaining. Quite an accomplishment. I am flushed with giddiness. They still run a real risk of finishing last in the weak AL Central division as they are 1.5 games behind the lowly Cleveland Indians. I guess that makes them a .500 team, hitting 1 out of 2 goals for the year.

Next year's goal will be to sell 2 million hotdogs on buck night. They have a chance.

Stupid Letter of the Week

Okay, I have been very lax at publishing the most stupid letter I come across in the KC Star.  Adell Thompson has nudged me from my complacency with one of the most stupid letters I have ever read.  Here is Adell's masterpiece in stupidity.

Obama wrongly faulted


Can someone explain to me why everything that has happened to this country is President Barack Obama’s fault?

According to the newspapers and TV, he is responsible for our failures during the recent recession. But he saved thousands of jobs, extended benefits and helped small business owners. He brought home our soldiers from Iraq. If they had stayed, there would certainly be increases in those killed or injured.

I haven’t heard a “thank you” from one person whose father, son, daughter or uncle in the armed services is home today because of Obama.

The Rev. Martin L. King Jr. suggested that a man should not be judged by his color but by his character. Obviously those words mean nothing to many people today.

Adell Thompson
Overland Park

Ooh! ooh! ooh!, I can answer Adell's first question on why evertything bad happening to this country is Obama's fault.  Adell, follow me here, it is because President Obama has gotten everything he has asked for legislatively, he promised that his ideas would make everything better for Americans, and stay with me now Adell, IT HASN'T WORKED.  Remember when like a Messiah he stood in front of his minion lemmings and proclaimed "This is the time when the oceans began to recede...".  Adell, he said he would lead us to a better place, he got everything he wanted, and now we are worse off than before.  If it isn't his fault, then whose is it?

Just as most liberal race-baiters are, Adell then tries to explain tht Obama's detractors are simply racists.  Maybe we are not judging him by his color or character, but by his results. Adell, by what standard are you judging him?

I'll Call Them The Chiefs, For Now

Sunday's win over the 49'ers was a beautiful game.  From the team who's head coach one week before warned us that we should get used to winning ugly, we won pretty.  I really expected a tough game from the 49'ers who looked very good the preceding Monday against the reigning world champs.  Thought was that at 0-2, they would be hungry for a win and needed it to salvage their season.

But surprisingly, the 49'ers came to town flat and the Chiefs took advantage.  Not only did they dominate on both sides of the ball, the head coach showed us his pair by onside kicking in the first half with a 7-0 lead which would have worked had the Chiefs not been off side.  They also confused the 49'ers by quickly running the field goal team off just before a 4th and short, forcing the 49'ers to call a time out, and then did it again after the time out and made the 1st down.  Add to that, a little razzle dazzle play that led to a touchdown when 5 of the 6 eligible players touched the ball that ended in a long touchdown pass to Dwayne Bowe.  Also add the spectacular catch of Tony Moeaki for another touchdown. 

Regardless of whether the 49'ers are or will be a good team this year, the KC Chiefs did everything a good team should do when playing at home.  It was a beautiful win.

Surprise Birthday Weekend

It was last Wednesday that my oldest, Lyndy, celebrated her 30th birthday. She had instructed us to not make a big deal about it, so other than a couple of signs in the neighborhood, we did not. That is until Saturday. Several weeks ago Dan had contacted us to see if we were willing to open our house for a surprise 30th birthday party. He also asked if we could see if her cousin Heather could make the party. That set in motion the planning for a surprise party.

Terri first contacted Lyndy to see if she wanted to go shopping the Saturday following her birthday. Nothing suspicious with that suggestion since this is how Terri and I birthday gift our daughters. Lyndy lined up her mother in law to watch the grand kids while she shopped with her mother. We immediately let Lyndy's mother in law in on the plans so she would know not to expect the kids.

Next, contact was made with cousin Heather. Lyndy and Heather are near the same age and have always been very close, so the surprise plan started to come together when Heather agreed to fly in on Saturday and back out on Sunday. Next was the food. I spent the day a week ago Saturday barbecuing a brisket, 3 slabs of ribs, a pork roast, chicken and hamburgers. Only the brisket and 2 slabs of ribs survived the week without being eaten, but that was enough for the party.

The day arrives with no breach of secrecy. Dan is supposedly working all day into the evening, so if Lyndy were to suspect a surprise party, Saturday would not be the day. Terri and I leave around 9:30 AM to pick Heather up at the airport. The flight was right on time, so we head directly for Lyndy's house, where Lyndy is expecting her mother to pick her up to go shopping. We arrive and head to the front door while Heather lags behind us, out of sight from the front door. I knock and Lyndy answers. "Sorry Lyndy, but your mother is not able to take you shopping today. Luckily we found a substitute". Assuming her mother was sick or some other similar reason, Lyndy looks disappointed. Then she notices movement off to her right as Heather walked up the sidewalk to the front porch. He disappointed look turns to confusion, and then a huge smile. Here is the shot I caught at that moment.

A gifted photographer I am not. Lyndy and Heather spent the afternoon shopping and hanging out like in times past. I am sure they both enjoyed the time together and away from their normally hectic lives. I enjoyed the moment she realized that the afternoon with Heather was her 30th birthday gift. I can't think of a gift that would have been more memorable.

Later that evening, friends and family gathered at our house to celebrate the birthday. By that time, the surprise element of the party was gone due to a couple of whispering children, but that was no longer a big deal. Earlier in the day we had orchestrated a surprise that was completely successful.

Colbert's Testimony

Stephen Colbert is one of my favorite comedians.  Today, for some unknown reason, he was asked to testify in front of the House Judiciary Committee's Subcommittee on Immigration, Citizenship, Refugees, Border Security, and International Law.  Colbert did what he does best.  I found myself laughing out load in my cubicle as I watched this replay of his testimony.  Enjoy!

 

My Name is Frank and I am a Spanker

In yesterday's blog about my thirty year old daughter, I mentioned that Terri and I were able to beat her until her spirit was broken. That was an exaggeration, however we were spanking parents. Both of our kids had their fair share of butt poundings that began when they were toddlers and ended when they were around 8 or 9 years old. That makes us spankers.

We did employed spanking during a period when society became less tolerant of corporal punishment. Swatting a behind was completely eliminated from the public school systems. It was seen as a cruel and archaic form of discipline. The thought was that a spanking could permanently bruise the ego and self esteem of a tender child, and was never a justified action.

I disagree. I might have been a juvenile delinquent during my grade school days if there were not a threat of discomfort for misdeeds. I remember a certain 3rd grade teacher, a Mennonite that never would expose her elbows or ankles, always kept her hair rolled up in a tight bun, looked like one of the goons in the Popeye cartoons, and displayed her paddle with pride as if it were an expensive shotgun. Her name was Mrs. Stillabower.

When you crossed her in the classroom, she would simply ask you to step out in the hall and wait for her. The waiting was the real punishment. This fact was well known by my parents, and something I used with my kids. Yes, the wait before the spanking can be used to enhance the actual punishment, which comes and goes very quickly. After a wait of several minutes, Mrs. Stillabower would step from her classroom carrying her prized paddle. She would simply say, "grab your ankles" which was followed by one single stinging swat. She would then return to her classroom and pick up the teaching from where she left off. I would return to my desk wondering if anyone really noticed that I just got spanked. The embarrassment hurt far more than the spanking.

My parents were accomplished spankers. My mother would perform the action when the situation demanded, but would usually use the waiting period most often. She would save the spanking for when Dad got home. I remember one Cub Scout meeting at our house (my mom was the Den mother), during my childhood vocabulary experimentation phase. I accidently let a 4 letter word slip while she was in earshot. Much in the fashion of Mrs. Stillabower, my mother simply sent me to my room until my father got home around an hour later. My father administered the swats. Funny thing is that I don't remember the spanking, but still do remember the torturous hour waiting to receive it.

We had a few non-spankers in my family. The preeminent non-spanker was my Aunt Grace. Aunt Grace was a tender soul who showered love on her neices and nephews. She always lectured the parents who gave their child a swat. She was a hardcore believer that children would never be spanked. Why was Aunt Grace a non-spanker? I believe it was becasue she had no children of her own. If she did, she would have known that giving a swat or two to a misbehaving child is sometimes the only correct action. And any child who hears the parent when they say "this is going to hurt me more than you" should know that it is a lie. Spanking can be as therapeutic for the parent as it is corrective for the child.

Now as a grandparent, I have a new opportunity to apply my spanking skills.  The problem is that my grandchildren are complete angels and never deserve a spanking.  I might need to correct their parents if I ever catch them swatting one of the darlings.

30 Years Ago Today

Today is a milestone.  My first child has reached the ripe old age of 30.  Wow.  It makes me feel old, but I must remember that I was only a child of 24 when Lyndy was born.  A lot was different then.  We lived in a small 2 bedroom house in Shawnee.  I weighed 160 lbs and had brown hair.  I liked dogs.  Terri was a rookie hairdresser working 5 days a week, because her income was sorely needed to meet the mortgage and car payments.  I painted houses for a living. 

I remember the moment we knew that parenthood was only a few hours away.  I was working when the boss' wife drove up to tell me that Terri was in labor.  Since the work sites never had working telephones and cell phones were still years away, Terri called her to get in touch with me.  I remember that I was pretty scared.  A child would definitely disrupt our lives.  Could we afford a child now, much less in 10 years when she would need braces, or in 18 years with college tuition?  Would I need to suddenly become responsible?

I immediately left the job site to take Terri to the hospital.  I know I was in a hurry getting home.  Visions of birthing a baby while on the way to the hospital forced me to break the speed limit and screech around corners.  Hurry wasn't needed.  As with many first deliveries, there are a lot of false starts.  For a couple of days we made trips back and forth to the hospital.  Th doctors would send us home saying that nothing was close yet, come back when it hurts more.  Terri spent the evening walking up and down our street trying to hurry what only comes natural.

Finally Terri progressed to a point that she was admitted to the hospital.  Twenty-four hours later, Lyndy decided to show up.  The joy of seeing our first child was quickly dampened by the announcement that we just had a girl.  I'm kidding.  It was dampened by the medical staff who quickly ushered Lyndy away to the infant ICU.  It seems that due to the length of labor, she had soiled her environment and then swallowed or inhaled the amniotic fluid.  The quick move to ICU was only precautionary, but still had Terri and I worried.  We didn't see much of Lyndy the first day or so until the doctors believed she was okay.

Not only was Lyndy our first child, she was our parent's first grandchild and my grandfather's and Terri's grandmother's first great grand child.  A few days after her birth, we brought Lyndy home to the new nursery built in our old TV room.  This was the first of many such inconveniences a child can bring. 

During her early years, Lyndy was a difficult child.  In response to not getting her way, she would fling herself on the ground and throw a tantrum that would make Lindsey Lohan or Paris Hilton smile.  When given a time out, she would tear the wall paper off her bedroom walls.  Many beatings later, Terri and I were successful in breaking her spirit and increasing her compliancy. 

Lyndy became the son I never had.  She loves sports as much as I do.  With her, it was soccer.  She also played softball, but could never overcome her "throws like a girl" disability.  Soccer was her sport.  Lyndy was also my fishing buddy. One fall day, we stood on the banks of the Antioch Park lake casting our lines with no real luck.  A passer by saw us and commented just loud enough for Lyndy and I to hear, "look at the cute boy fishing with his father".  At the time, Lyndy had a bowl haircut, wore baseball caps and liked to wear  overalls.  She was often mistaken for a boy.  On this day she simply shot a killer look back at the person and grumbled, but said nothing.

Her teenage years were unremarkable.  Lyndy never really had a rebellious period.  She was always home by 10:00, did her homework and kept her room fairly clean - the exact opposite of her younger sister. I guess Terri and I were at fault by not administering the same level of beat down on Allison.  The most dramatic change from these years was the transition from a girl that was often confused for a boy, to a beautiful young woman who could never be.  One thing is for certain, Terri and I make good looking babies.  Lyndy married Dan Farr in August of 2001 and continued the good looking baby legacy by delivering 3 beautiful grand kids. 

Last month, Terri and I watched te 3 grand kids for a few days while Dan and Lyndy enjoyed a cruise.  Out respect for Lyndy only grew stronger during that time.  Her children (director princess, delicate flower, and energizer bunny) are so active and energetic, we are in awe on how she makes it through the day and accomplish anything.  We also see what great children she is raising and how she is passing on her strong character and beliefs.

So on your 30th birthday, we wish you nothing but the best. You continue to make your mother and I proud.  We love you and your family. 

An remember that 30 is not old.  It is the doorway into the happiest, most fulfilling part of your life. Enjoy!